Turf Marking

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Thursday, October 20, 2005

I'm going to do something different this week. An analysis in the mental health field usually involves a needs assessment. Because after all, there's no reason to just see where a person stands if you're not going to treat them in some way, right? Not financially feasible. Greedy insurance bsatards Anyway, here is a needs assessment according to Google.
Don needs to fire his barber.

Don needs a new ski handle for his favorite toy.

Don needs underlings

Don needs *professional* advice which will surely serve him better than the amateur variety.

Don needs to play the backyard.

Don needs more help weaving all these issues together in to a comprehensive work plan, and due to personal commitments for this week, will not be able to get it done for this funding cycle, but he will try to put together something quick and dirty.

Don needs a hug! Don needs a hug!

Don needs rhythm accompaniment about as much as a doctor needs pills.

Don needs you to volunteer time on his campaign.

Don needs to identify all the women who might be candidates and take the ultimate road trip of his life.

Don needs help picking out sweaters (he has absolutely no fashion sense)

Holding this belt for over 10 years, Don needs to step up against a hard hitting top ten contender, Gabe Carmichael to keep this record intact.

Don needs to continue with the current Dokken line-up.

Don needs help understanding strange sex acts

DON needs to be considered in the overall nitrogen balance of the region.

Don needs out of Portland and quickly.

Don needs to continue to balance the needs and rights of landowners with the need to protect the environment and Stearns County's precious resources.

Don needs his blue pills, no not those, his Xanax.

Don needs to handle it and not air his laundry in public.

Don needs to be tied up and punished!!

Don needs 35 apple pies for Saturday, October 16th’s Ham & Bean Supper.

Don needs stop using psychoactive substances and deal with real world and a world of made up intelligence.

Don needs to occasionally keep his mouth shut!

I remember telling Brian, when I was trying to describe Don's needs, "We're not quite to rubber sheets yet, but we're into Depends."

Don needs to ask the Chief if we should accept the $100.00 from the L'Amour Shoppe, which is an adult bookstore shop.

Don needs to go back to being Don the Obscure.

Don needs to add a London double decker bus and a B-52 bomber to go with his fleet.

Don needs something to calm the demons.

Don needs to quit playing, and pay them damn fees.

Every don needs a pinky ring in order to start a family.

Don needs to begin his drug education!

Don needs his high walls to keep the world out and the tears in.

Don needs to cover a mile of this alien landscape in less than 8 seconds.

Don needs to slink into the murky depths of the entertainment world before Xena the Princess of Truth can catch him red-handed making a profit.

Don needs desperately needs two things in this world: Booze, and anger management.


Don needs therapy....what a delusional fool.

Don needs a tissue.

Don needs his own show, immediately!

Don needs shooting.

Don needs to get up the energy to open the barn for a sale.

Don needs to show everyone he can squeeze out some shrimp.
I forgot where I picked this meme up. Just Google the phrase "(Your Name) needs" and see what pops up.


defiant goddess said...

I've seen someone else do this, too. Looks like fun. Methinks me shall try it. :)

B said...

Maslow would be proud.