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Thursday, January 19, 2006

I admit it, I'm still in my shell/cave/womb/tomb/Sith meditation chamber--whatever metaphor you'd like to use.

Maybe it's a function of being "twenty-one plus eleven," but I just can't deal with as much stimuli as I used to, internal and external. Rather, I can't attend to it as much as I used to. A lot of things in life need my attention. However, for any of those things to be dealt with effectively, they can't always have my equal attention all the time.

There's a whole side to the "There is a season" theme in the Book of Ecclesiastes that doesn't register, or even gets ignored outright. As much as there are times when things happen and also times to do things, in either case, you simply cannot do it all at the same time, not if you want to be effective.

An example: A few days ago, after yet another weekend of travel (I know, I know, "Oh, poor me," right?) and still having the general mindset of "I ain't got time for no bullhsit," I decided to pull a Machiavellian move on a couple of folks. Let's put it this way--rather than participate in a group that would eventually, according to my instincts and experience, suffer from Geek Social Fallacy #1, I bowed out and got with another person who felt the same way. And, I did that in order to move forward with my personal goals. My decision was a pure, simple personal cost-benefit analysis that I had to make because I've finally accepted that my energy is finite!

It recharges, sure, but that's always been a solitary process for me. I'm not one of these folks who recharges by inviting twenty of his closest friends over for a day. Don't get me wrong--I love having twenty of my closest friends over for a day. But, it doesn't recharge me. It drains. And, that's okay...

...provided I get a chance to recover, which I'm doing.


B said...

Well give me a phone call when you return from the mountain ;)

defiant goddess said...

Wow, I saw myself all in this.