Turf Marking

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Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Once upon a time, I blogged this:
I've read whole lists of "legal, improvised weapons" (pens, rolled-up magazines, and the like) that you can use to defend yourself in the case of a terrorist threat on your flight. Yeah, because only even-keeled, responsible, and law-abiding citizens read Black Belt Magazine.
Now, if you tried, but couldn't track down all those back issues and are afraid you missed out on all that valuable data, worry no more!
CITIZEN’S GUIDE TO STOPPING SUICIDE ATTACKERS: Secrets of an Israeli Counterterrorist by Itay Gil and Dan Baron

[snip]

Just some of the vital topics covered in The Citizen’s Guide to Stopping Suicide Attackers include
  • facing off against knife-wielding airline hijackers alone or as a group, armed or unarmed
  • identifying and subduing suicide bombers before they can carry out their deadly mission
  • escaping from or disarming gunmen intent on mass murder
  • recognizing and responding to a crazed driver bearing down on a crowd
  • reacting correctly during the two most crucial stages of a hostage crisis
By absorbing the lessons in this book, you will be better prepared to confront the worst and stand up for yourself and your fellow citizens rather than helplessly accept the cruel death someone else has planned for you. That is the right and the duty of all civilized human beings in the 21st century.
No, I'm not laughing at the sincere desire to survive in today's world. Nor am I laughing at those who want to empower or want to be empowered by teaching and learning.

I'm laughing at a certain segment of people who are going to line up in droves to buy this book. The ones who will absorb these techniques while fantasizing about being Passenger 57, the ones who will actually say to themselves, "Man, I wish someone would try to take over my flight!" Even worse will be the segment of this segment who will actually be on a flight and injure some innocent Punjabi man in a turban who sneezed and then innocently reached into his coat for a tissue. You don't think something like that could happen? Tell that to the Brazilian embassy in England.

4 comments:

Ms Bizarro said...

I'm going to go crawl into my homemade bomb shelter now.

B said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
B said...

"Man, if someone did that on my flight I'd flip out and go all spec forces ninja on their asses! Then they'd make a movie about me and I could quite this stupid mall security job!!!"--An exerpt of thoughts from Jason, mall security consultant, as he flips throught the book at his local gun show, just prior to the next BLS concert.

I love fiction.

The Blah Brain said...

Hey, you live in Ithaca? So do I! ha