CATCHING UP IS HARD TO DO

Turkey day went well. Ate and drank myself into a coma and had some funny dinner conversation. E and I had dinner with the family of a local friend whose mother-in-law happens to be our landlady. She made one of those comments that you just don't expect from an elderly lady about the workers at the local Wal-Mart aka "Wally World." She said

300 pounds must be the limit.

I almost had wine coming out of my nose.

Friday had its own little adventure, trying to find a TV! Yes, we've been down here for months with no TV, and so E finally had the money to get one. We get it home after going literally from county to county and treated ourselves to kung fu movies and of course, Glengarry Glen Ross! As if we didn't quote that movie enough already...

How f**ked UP you are!
-Ricky Roma (Al Pacino)

Which brings us to Saturday's...
Inside Joke of the Day

Give me five more minutes of butt treatment!
-E

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BANDWIDTH CONSERVATION POST

This was forwarded to me the other day...

Subj: Proof

...that authentic country singers still walk the earth

http://www.cnn.com/2003/SHOWBIZ/Music/11/25/campbell.arrest/index.html


...and that there is a god

http://www.cnn.com/2003/US/South/11/24/klan.initiation.ap/index.html

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MY WEEKLY PERSONALITY ANALYSIS

Delayed, like most everything else because of the holidays and my tryptophan-induced coma. The results are further proof of one of my mutant superpowers -- the ability to successfully BS my way through any kind of test. That, or I've been wearing so much black for a reason other than keeping up with hip, trendy late-1980s fashion.


Congratulations! You have an understanding of the
goth culture!


A True Goth Quiz (now with pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

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YOU JUST HAVE TO SEE IT TO BELIEVE IT...

This gave me a chuckle, courtesty of Warren Ellis's blog www.diepunyhumans.com.

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"NEVER AGAIN WAS WHAT YOU SWORE THE TIME BEFORE"

Last Friday night, I succumbed to idol worship at the Altar of the Porcelain God. I was brought low to my knees unto it thanks to my lowered tolerance. Again, Danny Glover's voice rang through my mind's ears -- "I'm too old for this %hi+." Yes, a Killian's, two Manhattans, and two shots of Goldschlager (that weren't even on fire!) were enough to humble me.

My stomach's churning again just thinking about it.

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REPENT, OR ELSE!!

Because I couldn't bear the thought of not having an image from the Church Sign Generator for at least another week.

I'm sure the friend of E's who sent this to her wasn't the first person to think of that, but it's still pretty darned funny to look at.

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PAYING IT FORWARD

After digging about in my skull for my username/pw for my enetation account, I managed to get in and delete some double-postings made accidentally by myself and a couple others, no doubt because in this case, you get from enetation exactly what you pay for which, in my case is "jack" and "$hi+". Actually, I still owe them "jack."

I did leave all the troll postings, and although I've got a rule never to feed the trolls, it's a very loose rule. So, I'll take a quick second and put the question out there. Of all the posts to spam, why did they have to pick one of my soul-baring posts??

Well, I'm going to twist the concept of "pay it forward." I'm going to pay my misery forward and post the email address left by the spammer. I did some checking, and I'm willing to bet that it's maybe some innocent person whose addy just got jacked. Or, this person is the perpetrator. In any case, if I've managed to annoy at least one person by making this email addy available to all my readers and the various search engines, then I've successfully paid my misery forward!

So, take a moment and tell Willowmagic18@yahoo.com to "Have a nice day!" or share some of your sexual-organ-enlargement tips.

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NETROPOLITAN.LIFE

Two of my online addictions have now dovetailed with the addition of a few RBJ forum posters to my Friendster network. I suppose it's better than being addicted to talkers and MUDs the way I was.

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MY WEEKLY PERSONALITY ANALYSIS

Apparently, my name iz not Shake Zula... the mike rulah... the old schoolah


YOU ARE DOCTOR WEIRD -- An escaped mental patient,
Doctor Weird holes himself up in a laboratory
on the South Jersey shore. He unwittingly
creates various mutations, monsters, and
machines that tend to destroy large areas of
the town and cause trouble for the Aqua Teens.
While he may sound like a maniacal madman, it
is evident that he has no idea what he is
doing.


What 'Aqua Teen Hunger Force' character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

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FIDDLE FADDLE

Well, I added to and rearranged the template a bit here, especially if people are gonna act a fool on my tag-board. Can't have that thing scaring visitors away -- all solicitations for pr0n will be at the end of the blog and take more than a casual view to see, just as it should always be.

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INSIDE JOKE OF THE DAY

OBJECTIVE: To be the sexiest metrosexual -- EVER!

-Me

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FORGET THE "YO MAMA" JOKES...

Hurl insults like the master.

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THE QUEST FOR THE HOLY SOMETHINGOROTHER

Ed. note: This is a paraphrase/re-edit of something I wrote in my journal the other night.

I've been trying lately, without much success, to re-envision my mission statement -- my personal creed, my statement of what my life's supposed to stand for.

It's certainly no longer about the struggle to live as spiritual a life as I used to. No, I won't mention the path by name, because 1) if you've been paying any attention, you'd have known it long before now and 2) it really doesn't matter because what I'm about to say can apply no matter what spiritual path I happen to be following.

Following such a path wholeheartedly means the acceptance of certain principles that can and should have a direct bearing on how you live your daily life, I don't care if it's Christianity, Islam, Buddhism or even Atheism. I've found the people who are the most content with their spiritual lives, no matter what path they choose, follow that path wholeheartedly, knowing full well how often it will bring them into conflict with the values of the world and/or the people surrounding us.

There's a whole chapter in David Brooks's Bobos in Paradise about Spirituality, about how the compromises that this new educated class make between old bourgeois and bohemian values extends to even the spiritual. Bobos (bourgeois bohemians, in case you haven't been reading this blog enough to see the term at least once a week ;) ) long for the community that comes with religious institutions, and want that sense of spiritual ritual, structure, and "higher values" to pass on to our children. But, they're unwilling to take it back to the age where "pope, priest, or pastor" or any set of teachings hold any sort of real authority without the individual having a "spiritual line-item veto" (my phrase -- wow, that almost sounds intelligent!) for anything they don't agree with.

Brooks uses the term "Flexidoxy" and says Bobos attempt to "build a house of obligation on a foundation of choice." I feel that's the choice I'm facing now. To go ahead and submit to spiritual compromises and fudges. Am I headed down the path to drunken orgies of Dionysian excess? Probably not. But, will I be following a path or a method of living that focuses ultimately on promises to come in the next life/lives/whatever?

It's a crossroads. In the past couple of years, I've seen with my own eyes that certain spiritual realities do exist. Now, whether or not I and people who believe as I do interpret them correctly is another issue. Yet one thing is clear -- people who feel the most satisfied with their beliefs, regardless of what they are, don't fit their beliefs into their life. They fit their lives into their beliefs.

Am I willing to do that at this stage of the game? What values are at the core of my life? What's my life now based on?

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ART IMITATING... SOMETHING...

Maplethorpe ain't got nothin' on this guy.

Hanging Corpse Admired as Sculpture on Campus

From Warren Ellis's blog

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CATCHING UP IS HARD TO DO

ITEM ONE
I found my new food besides wings from Rooster's, chicken fajita burritos from Chipotle and roman burgers from Mr. Hero that I could subsist on -- E's fried potatoes!

ITEM TWO
I finally have a local (cell) phone number. Now, I feel like a true Athens hick resident! The sad part was that I took the cheap option and took the companies free phone, which technologically speaking is just as advanced as my other one (which I still have, btw -- numbers in 2 area codes, how ghetto is that?), except that 1) it doesn't vibrate and 2) it's virtually the same dimensions as the very first cell phone I ever bought 8 or so years ago.

ITEM THREE
There is NOOOOOOO.... Item Three.

ITEM FOUR
I'm still feeling the last vestiges of my workout pain from last Thursday's MMAC meeting. Man, I wanna go again tomorrow night so badly, but if they're just going to putz because it's finals week, I really shouldn't blow $7.50. But, it's even worse than I predicted -- because the workout was so intense, my exercise/adrenaline junkie withdrawal is even worse than it ever was.

ITEM FIVE
I've been working like a dog for the past few days, so I'm going to enjoy the next couple of days off that I have.

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INSIDE JOKE OF THE DAY

You're a Meanor
-E

Ed. note: pronounced MEE-nore

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INSIDE JOKE OF THE DAY LAST SATURDAY

I don't wanna come and get it!
Bring it to me!!!!

-E

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STICKIN' IT

No, this has nothing to do with pictures, either.

I'm in so much physical pain, it even hurts to type. But, it's a good workout pain. The kind of pain that comes with training at the MMA Club. God, I thought the calisthenics alone would kill me. I kept hearing Danny Glover's voice in my head going, "I'm too old for this $hi+." But, I'll be darned if my boxing technique didn't come back PDQ.

The second hour, we had our choice between muay Thai pad drills and Filipino stick work. Now, what's a Filipino boy like me to do, eh? Man, in one night I've already increased my single stick repertoire by at least 50%, mostly with all the footwork they had us do. Mr. R in Columbus spent time training with Bobby Taboada, so most of his stick training had very little in the way of footwork. That's 'cause Bobby was so fast, he'd just stand there and play a song on you before you'd get in two swings. Then, we did some empty handed flow drills, a couple of which I already knew -- that scored me a few points with the instructors there ;).

Yes, I still wanna get my blacks, but I'm definitely sticking with this. The stuff they're doing will fill the gaps in my martial arts knowledge perfectly, I think. The only problem is having to pay the guest fee each and every time I wanna train with them, at least until I (hopefully) get matriculated next summer. Apparently, it's a problem the club has been trying to address all sorts of ways. They even discussed labelling me an "instructor" just to get me past the gate. That's the spirit of OU/Athens, OH -- trying to find more ways to "stick it to The Man." Hey, the way I see it, $7.50 2x/week won't necessarily break me, even with the pittance I'm making each week. And, it's still averages about what I paid in Columbus, anyway.

Unfortunately, it's the end OU's fall quarter. Next week is finals week, and the club meetings are basically going to be unstructured sessions, so they said it might not be worth me shelling out money to attend. Their break is 6 weeks, so I guess I'll have to wait until then :(. But, hey, I got stuff I can work on until then.

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PHILOSOPHICAL MUSING

Ask yourself this question.

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MY WEEKLY PERSONALITY ANALYSIS

My inner child is sixteen years old!

Life's not fair! It's never been fair, but while
adults might just accept that, I know
something's gotta change. And it's gonna
change, just as soon as I become an adult and
get some power of my own.


How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla

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MY NEW FAVORITE WEBSITE

The most informed and unbiased music critic columnist -- EVER!

I Despise You and Your So-Called Taste

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NOTHING TO DO WITH PICTURES

ITEM ONE
So, tomorrow I'm definitely checking out the Mixed Martial Arts club. I need to start training again in something, so it might as well be in stuff I'm interested in.

ITEM TWO
I've been working on my grad school application materials. For OU, part of that is an autobiographical essay. That doesn't bother me in and of itself. What concerns me is how best to construct the thing. "Just be yourself," one might say, to which I might respond, "Oh, grow up." ;)

On the other hand, I feel like I have to be careful. I have a history of basically flatulating on any piece of paper and have it be considered "above-average" work (read: usually "A" papers). When considering these things, I caught myself thinking that the folks here at OU were "country bumpkins," who could be taken far easier than the folks at the bigger institutions where I attended school.

Now, I admit, that thinking is just plain wrong. It's also made me somewhat paranoid, too, of the folks here being too saavy.

Eh, maybe I should just be myself.

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TEST OF THE "STICK-IT-TO-THE-MAN" SYSTEM, PART DEUX

Well, since I've been bit by the "pics on your blog" bug, I found a free 30 MB webhosting server at Ripway. Now, all I need to remember to do is log on once a month.

Screw you, Yahoo!

BTW, All of today's earlier posts have been edited accordingly.

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SHOULDA KNOWN...

Sneaky b@$tards. Should've known it was too good to be true. Well, the boffins at Yahoo! have outsmarted me [Yeah, congratulations, guys -- I've been outsmarted by far inferior to you ;)]. Darn rotating filenames -- f**k 'em all.

Well, enjoy the pics while they last. Hey, I could always remote load from my AOHell space.

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POTENTIAL NEW LOGO?

Courtesy of the Church Sign Generator

First, I didn't care about not being able to post my own pics on here. Now, I feel like I've been missing out!

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THIS HAS BEEN A TEST OF THE "STICK-IT-TO-THE-MAN" SYSTEM

Tell me just because I missed the Yahoo! service change by two months, having better things to do with my life, that I can't remote load JPEGs from My Briefcase account? Fine, then... it ain't the only graphic format around.

I know, I know -- "Why not simply use another blogging service that will let you upload pictures?" Because, "FREE" is the ideal price, muahahaha!

I feel like Jack "Shelly 'The Machine' Levine" Lemmon in Glengarry Glen Ross when he said "You can kiss my @$$ [makes a zipping motion up his bottock] and that's all I have to say to you [as he transitions from zipping up his buttock to flipping the bird]."

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METROEROTICISM

I neglected to mention that last week, I spent more than $15 on a haircut for the first time in about 6 months! It made me think about and miss my old stylist back in Columbus. When I could afford to see him, the salon would always have coffee or wine. In fact, I discovered my favorite wine there, a cabernet-merlot blend by Concha y Toro. The best part was, he never, ever used clippers on my hair except for my sideburns and the back of my neck.

He had these cool-ass Japanese shears with the blades forged in the same manner as katana with the metal folded over a few times. You may ask, "What's the freakin' difference?" The difference is you can just tell what an easy time he had cutting my hair. I noticed it in particular one day when he tried using these German-made shears he had. There was something strange and I asked him, "Do those things need oiling or something? It seems like you're working harder." Immediately he switched back to his old shears. He explained to me that someone invited him to try the German shears, and he was debating whether or not he liked them. But, he decided against them the moment I said something, saying that if even a client could tell the difference, he was sticking with his old tried-and-true shears.

One day, I'm going to make enough bread again to go see him.

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NETROPOLITAN.LIFE*

*Yes, once upon a time, I thought I made this phrase up myself. But, as it happens, I'm not the first person to ever use this word, so if you're one of those copyright fascists (and I mean that in a nice way) and want to sue me, well, go ahead -- take the $0.91 I have to my name.

ITEM ONE
My new favorite website, posted on a RiceBowlJournals forum:

Church Sign Generator

I haven't wasted hours on a website like I have on here in ages!

ITEM TWO
Got a Friendster invite from a fellow Fran Lebowitz lover who I met a few months ago. I joined up -- why not, after all, so long as Friendster doesn't broadcast my email address or my picture around, it's all good. At least I know someone on this network, and who knows, maybe I'll get the same level of intelligent-yet-fun interaction that I get with the members of RBJ.

ITEM THREE
I'm on Yahoo! Messenger at this moment with E, who is ranting about the parking fines she inadvertently accumulated. She made a funny:

anyway, so I still ahve to pay $15. F**k, like I can afford $15.

I'm freaking shopping at save a lot to save money on groceries and now I have to pay the bi+ch her f**king blood money

Um... well, ok, I thought it was amusing.

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ONCE UPON A TIME IN COLUMBUS ATHENS

ITEM ONE
Upon careful deliberation (read: cruised the webpage and decided, "Wtf"), I decided to email OU's mixed martial arts club. I'm told I'm welcome to join even though I'm not officially a student yet, for $5 a session. Not too bad, I'd say. Once I'm matriculated, it'll be $15 per quarter. I'm going to check out the next meeting this Thursday. They're finishing up the quarter getting ready for next quarter where they're going to focus on some kali, muay Thai and maybe some BJJ.

E is all excited for me, because she knows that kali and muay Thai are the two arts I decided to train in once I got at least one black belt/sash/whatever.

ITEM TWO
Last Saturday, I accompanied E to her ta'i-chi class. It was some very interesting stuff. Afterward, she introduces me to both of her instructors. Now, E's kinda funny when it comes to my martial arts. She gets all frazzled every time I joke privately about "breaking my foot off in someone's @$$" whenever people check her out or premeditating a self-defense scenario while we're in a crowd. But when discussing it in public, she's all like "Yeah, he knows tae kwon do and kung fu, and he's really good, too!" after I've spent minutes trying to downplay my knowledge. Sure, I joke a lot, but I'm never in any mood to be challeneged by someone who identifies too closely with the movie Billy Jack.

Anyway, she just has to drop the fact that I know kung fu and of course, the instructor just has to see me do some. I'm like, "Ohhhhhhhh, crap." Well, I acquiese, since I'm in "his house," so to speak and do my white sash form. He genuinely seemed impressed and complimented my teachers (yay, Mrs. R!!). He and I then get caught up discussing martial arts for the next half-hour after his class. We demonstrated a few techniques and stances for each other. Let me at this time, reiterate my respect for ta'i chi as a combat art. The dude demonstrated how with one hand on my chest and shifting his weight forward how he could knock me back a few steps.

So, I guess ta'i-chi will be my next martial art in line :).

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LYRIC OF THE DAY

One shoe on, one shoe off
Nothing in life is decideable, wouldn't you know
Nothing's supposed to be easy
Take one day at a time
Ain't no need to hurry
Realize where you are
And where you're going to

Follow Me by James Pankow and David Foster
perf. by Chicago

A couple of days ago, I found out that OU in fact does have a program in community counseling. The time frame is shorter, and well, it's the degree that I was after in my first attempt at graduate school.

Now, I just need to get my game on and carry this plan through to fruition. I need to work past all the baggage, real and imaginary, that's stopping me, and take hold of this second chance.

The one factor out of my control -- Will I get in? I ask this knowing there's but one way to find out.

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MY WEEKLY PERSONALITY ANALYSIS

Ah'll be running around und tare-minading de girly cockroaches, ya.


Which Survivor of the Impending Nuclear Apocalypse Are You?
A Rum and Monkey joint.

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FIRST DAN OR BUST

Well, as I've intimated by now in various posts, it seems to be bust for the time being.

The summary of my situation: My living situation changed, as the friend who was graciously providing me with a place to stay could, through no fault of his own, no longer afford to be gracious. To quote his paraphrase of Malachi 2:16, "God hates divorce."

Therefore, I took this as God's/destiny's/fate's/the universe's way of telling me to go ahead and do something I've been pondering for weeks -- to move 90 miles away to be with E. After all, when all is said and done, to paraphrase Gladys Knight,

I'd rather live with her world
Than live without her in mine

Now, there is more to it than that. It turns out that I stand a better-than-even chance of entering grad school here, and finally finishing off that pesky masters degree that I've been putting off.

But, it is a shame after I just made it to first gup. I was all gung-ho about barreling forward to black belt. I learned the first 1/3 of one of my required forms, chung moo. Mrs. R was looking forward to a time when she'd be able to get a kung-fu class going again. Mr. R wanted to find time to train with me personally.

But, now I'm in Athens with a vehicle that's unreliable at best -- I wore it down with weekly trips between Columbus and Athens for the past few months. I don't want to get flabby, and I don't want to lose the little I just regained, with regard to training.

So, I've got a few possibilities:

A) Simply resolve to make a 1-2x/month pilgrimage up to Columbus to train. It's not unheard of. I remember a girl who went to my old alma mater the University of Dayton after college and came back once a week for awhile.

B) I could just find another martial art. This is my least favorite option, because being so close to black belt (TKD) and black sash (KF), I'd really hate to start with something else now, at least until I've reached those levels in at least one of my current martial arts.

C) Ohio University has a mixed martial arts club that I could, in theory, check out. Their website says that the "majority" of their members are OU students, implying that some aren't. Now, I'm not a student quite yet, but assuming I could get in, would it be worth my time and expense?

Decisions, decisions.

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GAME PLAN

I think I know what I'm doin'
But I haven't been doin' it right
It seems like every time I turn around
I find myself feeling uptight
Every once in awhile I see
The questions and the answer
Is before me
Misery isn't free
I gotta be free

The Sons, Misery Isn't Free

So, today is my first (virtually-) stress-free day down here in my new abode. I still feel some of the pangs of mental and physical exhaustion, but slowly, day by day, I've managed to integrate myself into E's space. I cooked dinner for the first time for her last night, some throw-together non-Mexican tasting wannabe chicken fajitas. They were tasty, nonetheless.

Ok, so I'm down here, relatively settled in and some part-time hours starting tomorrow. I'll also get a bit of money in tomorrow, too. But, now I need to start thinking ahead a bit. I want to start the ball rolling as far as getting into school here at OU. I want to go ahead and start a masters/Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology. However, right now it just isn't in the Life Plan to spend the next five to seven years down here, at least if I want to spend them with E. Now, there seems to be a minimum requirement of time to be spent here at the Athens campus, so I'll definitely be exploring the option of doing that minimum time and finishing somewhere else.

And, on top of it all, I need a much better job than what I have now.

What I need, above all else, is patience with myself and diligence. I can never seem to balance those two things out.

I guess what this means, at least in the forseeable future, is that "First Dan or Bust" is bust for the time being :(. Sucks, I know, but first dan really isn't important in the big scheme of things at this present time.

But, I'm finally beginning to realize just how many good things I have in life in spite of all the negative.

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HA! DEATH TO THE INFIDELS

CNN.com - NBC cancels 'Coupling' - Nov. 3, 2003

The link will only last until the 17th, so enjoy the good news while it lasts!

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LATE MUSING

I should've posted this over the weekend. I just wanted to mention how great it was that E and I went on our first movie date last Friday -- we saw Kill Bill!

And, it was her idea! How cool is that? It was a mere week ago that I counseled a fellow against taking a girl out to see a Quentin Tarantino flick. Hey, I chalk it up to E's background in film. She seems so unimpressed by the whole "chick flick" thing.

Yep, if I didn't know if I was in love before, I know now :)

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FIDDLIN'

I took E's advice and put the tagboard at the top of the links column. We'll see if I get anymore scribble.

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STRAIGHT COLD PLAYA

So, I didn't go with the Supersoulfighter costume for the big Athens Halloween festival last night. No, yesterday, I actually went out in two costumes. The first was IMO, the most realistic pimp costume that was at the fest last night. I had the wig, colored glasses, and genuine vintage 1970something clothing, including a tacky-@$$ two-tone brown shirt and E's fly leather coat that would make Richard Roundtree himself green with envy.

Athens definitely lived up to its infamous reputation last night, that's for sure.

E and I hosted a couple of friends. There were supposed to be five in all, but three bailed due to reasons outside of their control. E was a girl version of the Dread Pirate Roberts. Mr. M was a scotsman -- well, he had a kilt leftover from the annual Columbus fetish ball he attended the night before. Ms. V was my british ho'. Ah, what fun.

Well, we did have our problems scoring libations at the fest because 1) we were virtually broke, especially after a kamakaze shot and 2) Mr. M is a mere 20 years old and thus was not allowed into any drinking establishment. Yes, we did have "a nip" before we left, but we decided to go back to our place for another. Well, we did and it was then that I spontaneously switched costumes with the help of the half-Mexican Ms. V. We were joking around with the hairnet that came with my afro wig. Earlier that day, I modeled it for E while toying with hispanic stereotypes.

I did the same for M and V. V decided my appearance was just too good, and so with the help of black eyeliner, supplied me with the necessary tears, knuckle-writing, and Sacred Heart "hay-soos" tats. I only allowed it because, hey, we were in Athens, OH and chances are, no eses were going to mess with me. If we were in Columbus, I'd've been shot before I got two steps out the door. I completed the ensemble by buttoning the top button on my fly 70s shirt, and busting a major sag.

Man, I wish I had pictures.

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