Not Everyone Likes BJJ

More McSweeney's goodness:

And with the growing popularity of this damn ultimate fighting, the rules of engagement have been redefined. Now any Joe wearing khakis could possess the skill set of a Brazilian jujitsu master. One second you're telling Chadwick that he can't take his drink outside; next thing you know, Royce Gracie's protégé's got his legs wrapped around your neck like an anaconda, choking you out. For $10 an hour, you can keep that shit.

From "A Seminar for Nightclub Bouncers, as Conducted By a Big, Menacing Former Doorman Who Abhors Violence"
by Amir Farhang and Omid Farhang