It Takes a Village

Well, I just witnessed something rather embarassing. Not embarassing for me, but rather for E's and my friends, the BOBOs if they saw their daughter do what I just did.

Frankly, what she (at 14 or 15, I think?) and her friends are doing at a coffee house on a Sunday night near midnight is beyond me... although, I guess it is a holiday weekend, isn't it? In any case, she and her friends must've thought it would be funny to disrupt a group sitting at the next table that was only trying to enjoy a game of Jenga. They went so far as to "accidentally" shove the BOBOs' daughter into said table.

They promptly left the scene, and a bit later, I felt compelled to apologize to that group on behalf of her parents. I'm debating whether to narc the girl out to her parents, but I know if I tell E, she'll almost certainly do it. I know what you're thinking -- make her do the dirty work, right? ;)

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Fight Club

I'm still suffering from the cough that just won't die. Plus, I somehow managed to find myself working in the coldest parts of my job. So, between sickness and my few moments of health spent working, I haven't had time to post.

In any case, judging by the counter, I see that someone who shall remain nameless has been anxiously checking out the blog here, most likely waiting to see if I'd write about my past Club session. I'm surprised to find only one IP address; I half-expected all of Club to be reading this thing by now as the aforementioned nameless person let slip the fact that I keep these notes ;).

Anyway, the "highlight" of the last session was one of the Krav Maga-style self-defense drills I participated in. In this particular drill, DATU_B and I stood, eyes closed and back to back, waiting for a "Go" signal, whereupon an "environmental weapon" would simultaneously be thrown in.

The "Go" was sounded, my eyes opened and immediately focused on the environmental weapon at my feet instead of my opponent who then, after a moment's hesitation, cold-cocked me with a right cross.

Ouch.

Note to self: next time, don't try to use the rules of the simulation to your advantage.

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My Weekly Personality Analysis

It's odd -- I'm not necessarily feeling worse, but I'm sure not feeling any better. So, I'm heading back home to bed. I just had to get this out first.





Take the What High School Stereotype Are You? quiz.

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Hump Day Catch Up

Laziness - Didn't go to Club last night. I wasn't feeling well (on a lot of fronts), and neither was E, so we sat and watched Trainspotting: The Prequel Shallow Grave. It fit the mood perfectly.

I haven't felt much for working out solo, either. Maybe I can get some time in tomorrow. E may opt out of a kung fu lesson this week, since it's week 8 of the quarter and she's up against a lot of deadlines.

New Book - Been reading The Screwtape Letters by Lewis. See the current sidebar? It's a good read, even if you're not Christian, or even religious. Does that mean I'll change the CD image soon? Not really... I still listen to S&P almost every day.

Diet - I hope I'm not suffering from some wierd Keith Richards thing where all the vices he continues to engage in haven't killed him after all these years, even if he looks like one of the undead. E thinks I'm consuming alcohol a little too frequently as of late and that my diet has been rather deficient in green things. She may be right, but as of right now, there really aren't any apparent adverse effects, even to my metrosexual appearance. Still, why not head things off before it's too late, right? Once I polish off the remaining Sam Adams Cherry Wheat beers in the fridge, I'll work more on them vegetables. Hey, I've had my fair share of lettuce on a weekly basis, right?

Excerpt from "Pros and Cons of John Kerry's Top Twenty Vice-Presidential Candidates" by John Moe (link will be added once it's moved off of the McSweeneys main page).

4. Bill Clinton, former President

Pro: Oh man, that would be awesome—could you imagine? He'd be all like Yeah, I'm back, so suck on this, y'all and everyone would be all No way and he'd be all Way
Con: None

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White Trash Soap Opera

I wouldn't even be writing today. I've been feeling ill (upper respiratory something or other) and I just got out of bed in time to walk myself uptown, have a cup of coffee and gather myself before attending to some unpleasant chores that have fallen on my plate unexpectedly. But I just had to comment about the drama that just finished taking place 5 feet away from the table at which I'm currently seated. I can't recount the entire saga. Only offer you a sample quote from this discussion:

We wouldn't even be havin' this drama if you hadn't stuck your d!ck in me and got me pregnant!

Superimpose this quote onto some of the characters you see in the average episode of Springer, and you've got a good idea of what I bore witness to, minus Jerry and Steve of course.

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Double Life

Yesterday was a surreal day. How was it that I could spend the early afternoon in my wage-slave job, and the evening in the company of, literally, some of the richest people in town?

I've written before about the local power couple (call them BOBO_S and BOBO_E) who served basically as E's benefactors when she first moved here. These are the types of people who hand out bottles of wine to people the same way you'd loan someone a pen. And, I don't mean a bottle of Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill -- I'm talking about $20+ bottles of Charles Krug and stuff. They're also one of the 5 or so Republicans in this town, too.

Anyway, I'm leaving work and as usual, I find a voice mail message from E, saying that she's hanging out with them at the local uptown swanky if-you-have-to-ask-how-much-it-costs-you-probably-can't-afford-it restaurant. Luckily, I put on my best metroerotic face (and hair, and shirt) before I got there, because what E didn't tell me was that I'd be, in essence, crashing the birthday party for the Dean of Students of the University. You see my confusion. "Can I help you with that?" in the morning. "Oh, ok, one more glass of chianti" that evening.

After the restaurant, we all (Dean included) head to a local bar where we meet another power couple -- a couple my age, this time, buying everyone drinks. Did I mention that of the volumes I consumed, I didn't pay a single penny? After the bar, we head back to the BOBOs' house where I continued the hobknobbing. E went home a bit before this point, as she has to be in Columbus today. But I hung out and was graciously offered pizza and more alcohol (they're lushes, they admit it) and conversation with accountants, college deans, and upscale-hotel executives who were my age.

That couple was funny. It's sort of wierd seeing people my age do (apparently) financially well -- good jobs, three acre spreads, money to buy drinks for total strangers. But to look at them, they didn't look my age. Granted, I look young for my age, but I wouldn't have pegged these people for 30. Thirty-five to 40 would've been more like it. Makes you think about the prices you pay to attain things like that. Things like 85-hour work weeks and such. To each his own, I suppose...

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WTF?

Why does the lack of a PayPal button mess up my blog template?

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My Weekly Personality Analysis

Which Family Guy character are you?

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R.I.P.

With all the tremendously crappy news in the world, sometimes the more obscure crappy news gets overlooked.

Tony Randall, 84 - Actor, famous in The Odd Couple, among other things.

Elvin Jones, 76 - One of the greatest jazz drummers EVER.

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Self-Confidence

Written on the men's bathroom chalkboard of my favorite coffee house:

I am almost always right. The last time I was wrong was about 5 years ago, when I thought I made a mistake.

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Inside Jokes for the Aged

Because reading is fundamental...

Changes to the Hotel California, Made in Response to Mr. Henley's Recent Complaint
by John Moe

From McSweeney's

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Only In Europe

...can people actually have the balls as well as the opportunity to jack world leaders like Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder and Prime Minister Tony Blair.

And while we're on the subject of British media, let me introduce you to the person I look forward to hearing during the BBC's Newshour heard over here on NPR: Julian Marshall. His voice and manner are so irritating, it's actually amusing. Nice to see that the stereotypes of British journalism, fostered in part by Eric Idle in The Ruggles are, in fact, alive and well.

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Fight Club

Well, last night was a so-so night at the old Club. Had better, had worse. Any success I had was in the form of the occassional shot I'd land or tapout. The rest were a series of shin beatings and shoulder grindings. Damn, work will suck today.

Potential BILLY JACK QUOTE OF THE WEEK:

I've got a list of people I wanna fight... you [I can't think of a nick for this person yet - a quiet, slight girl who'll spar anyone], [STRETCH ARMSTRONG], [The Management], and [The guest Bando instructor from last week].

Sorry about all the brackets, but the names must be changed to protect... well, me really.

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What'd I Accomplish Today?

A very, very late start to my day. Work's been hell, so I slept in late.

Making a nice lunch... a nice sandwich with inferior yet oddly tolerable mayonaise. I'm serious, of all the "Brand X" mayo I've ever had, this one has been the best.

A trip to an empty grad school office. Things to check on, no live humans.

Playing around with more Blogger tags, especially the MainPage tag. This way, you can click on one of my previous entries and have a cleaner looking page. Also, my counter won't get hit one time for every permalink that gets clicked. I'm still not sure though if I want two or three days showing on the main page. If I show too many, then the Previous Entries tags aren't really worth much. Next issue to decide on: whether or not to ditch enetation and go with Blogger's commenting system.

Getting my fix of Doctor Who in the form of the webcast Scream of the Shalka. This must be what it feels like for an addict, clean and sober for years, to fall right off the wagon. Incidentally, a fellow coffee shop patron saw me doing this and asked me for help fiddling with his computer so that he could do the same.

Sorting through my Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu notes as well as some notes from MMAC -- the "Ninja Scrolls" needed cleaning out.

Wondering whether or not I feel like going to Club.

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Pei Mei Wannabe

I can't believe I neglected to mention that last week, E had her first lesson in my kung-fu style. She's been itching to learn it since almost the day we met. It is what brought us together, after all.

Not that I'd necessarily want it to get out, at least into my old martial arts circles right away. My old instructors have a generally free, relaxed, Americanized attitude regarding the transmission of their martial arts -- except for the kung-fu system. I remember an old student who Mrs. R heard showed our booklet. It's the modern day equivalent of those old kung-fu scrolls you see in movies. All the terms and moves are in shorthand. There's virtually no way even an experienced martial artist could just pick it up and understand it all. And yet, Mrs. R almost freaked.

Plus, in this day and age, challenge matches do still happen. I live in a town where Bando is the martial art. The grandmaster does live here, after all. God forbid I get caught by the wrong people swinging kali sticks around. All I know is I'm too old and too slow to have Hung Wei Lo or whoever come and challenge me with his Flying Screaming Phoenix Ninja Fist Style in order to stop me from teaching the "gwai-lo."

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Baby, What a Big Surprise

Noooooo... really?

Seymour Hersh of The New Yorker magazine has published a new article that claims U.S. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld may have been directly responsible for ordering the interrogation tactics use at the Abu Ghraib prison. NPR's Libby Lewis reports.

Sure, you can fall on either side of the argument. Give the average person a cattle prod and tell him or her that to use it on some blindfolded, helpless slob might prevent the next 9/11, and see what they'd do.

My point isn't to stir that debate, though. It's to illustrate yet again that yes, we do at least as many of the same things all those other "bad" countries do. What else could you say about a country led by the son of a former president who also happened to be the head of that country's secret police?

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My Weekly Personality Analysis

Better late than never, eh?

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Falling Off the Wagon

Well, I managed almost an entire weekend without internet access. That's long enough. Man, I couldn't even see that my emailed blog post would include inappropriate line breaks as well as the automatic Yahoo! footer until today. Eh, what do you want for free? I edited the line breaks, but left the footer just as a reminder to myself.

So, how was your weekend?
The weekend's just been work, work, work until last night. I had one of those occassional benders that always feels so good the next morning. I think the taste of Negra Modelo has grown on me.

You forgot to post the BILLY JACK Quote of the Week
Yes, I know I forgot. It's been a busy weekend. I know I promised... quit yelling at me!

What you need to tell [E] is "Get back in the kitchen."

You seem to have trouble posting your weekly personality analysis on Fridays. Maybe you should try a different day?
Good idea. I think I'll do that on Thursdays for the time being.

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Fight Club

This will be my first email post. Hopefully this'll work -- I won't know until tomorrow sometime.

Tonight's Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu sparring record: 3 for 5.

I don't know how I got STRETCH ARMSTRONG, although he was having a bad night. He lost one later to SPEAKMAN. Hell, DATU_S tapped to him, too, for that matter. Anyway, I finally got the ankle lock down!

I actually sparred SPEAKMAN twice. First time, there wasn't much rolling. I sank a guillotine and that was all she wrote. The second time, he was out for revenge. I don't know how he got an armbar on me; he wasn't even planted anywhere. All I know was that I knew he was trying it, and I thought I was countering. Then all of a sudden, I felt pain. I hope I didn't panic anyone, but it sucked bad enough for me to yelp.

I got a tap out of DATU_S. He did have the advantage most of the time, but I finally got the mount and again remembered the tried-and-true armbar from there. I wasn't fast enough to do it clean. He countered and held me off for quite awhile until I managed to counter his counter and force the tap.

The last bit of club was rubber-knife sparring with STRETCH ARMSTRONG. We managed to kill each other several times over. What can you say, that's what happens in knife fights.




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Do you Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Movies - Buy advance tickets for 'Shrek 2'
http://movies.yahoo.com/showtimes/movie?mid=1808405861

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Dumbfounded

Yesterday on NPR's Day to Day I was listening to a story about a news program produced by kids for kids. In it, I caught a passing reference about the latest Olsen Twins movie premiering at, of all places, the Tribeca Film Festival? De Niro green-lit this?

Eh, well even if he did, who's going to tell De Niro not to do something with his film festival? I like my legs intact, thank you very much.

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