METROEROTICISM

Yes, there have been a lot of these posts lately, haven't there?

I finally got my hands on the Kama Sutra of metroeroticism, The Metrosexual Guide to Style: A Handbook for the Modern Man by Michael Flocker. It's sort of interesting seeing how much of this stuff I've known almost since birth, and how much I am totally clueless about.

I thought it would be fun to see how I stack up to some of the various lists of standards scattered about the book. For instance, on page 86, we have "Ten Wardrobe Must-Haves." The items in bold are the ones I lack.

• Three black T-shirts, three new white T-shirts
  I got more black tees than you can shake a stick at. I have a fair amount of white tees, fairly new, but if "pocket Ts" don't count, as the book states, I need a couple more white ones.
  
  
• Two different pairs of flattering jeans
  Check.
  
  
• One dark suit
  $400 charcoal gray from Brooks Brothers.
  
  
• One leather or suede short coat (not a bomber jacket)
  I'm a child of the 80s/90s -- I got a bomber jacket, sue me.
  
  
• Two rollneck or crewneck cable-knit sweaters
  Check.
  
  
• Two pairs of dark, straight-leg, nonpleated pants
  All my pants are pleated -- damn, damn damn.
  
  
• Three well-cut, solid-color, button-down shirts (one white)
  I technically have them -- they may need to be cut a little better though, because I got them 5 years and 25 pounds ago.
  
  
• Quality sunglasses
  Both prescription, look good, and cost INXS of $200 USD each.
  
  
• One expensive watch, one sports watch
  Check.
  
  
• Flattering underwear
  Unfortuneately, most of my underwear was from that "one score and 5 pounds ago" era.

Looks like I have a little bit of retooling to do.