Coffee House Blues

Well, my Friday ended much better than it began, with a couple of minor kinks. One kink, to be precise. And it happened while DATU_B and I were sitting in my favorite coffee shop and were accosted by a Korean gentleman, henceforth to be known as SUM YUNG GAI (I know it's not Korean sounding. Screw you.). I made the mistake of letting him get close enough for him to see I was reading The Tao of Jeet Kune Do. From there, the conversation just headed downhill. SUM YUNG GAI claimed to know 10 different martial arts, and to be able to teach them all in the school he's getting together. He'll tell you what those arts are... provided you wait while he fishes his 10-item list from his backpack. "Escrima" is one of his arts. Don't ask him which style, though. I made that mistake. Oh, and if you're interested in joining his club, be prepared to take a "very spiritual" blood oath. Yes, he'll ask you a good 3 times (just ask DATU_B). If SUM YUNG GAI would've had a knife in his hand, he would've been slicing at our thumbs right there in the damn coffee shop. Recalling the incident afterward...

ME: At least he didn't try to tell us that he mixed all 10 of those martial arts together and is the grandmaster of his own style.
DATU_B: That's only 'cos we left too soon.

I've been at the coffee shop every day since then, and SUM YUNG GAI's been there. I didn't notice him as a fellow regular before. Yesterday, he made the mistake of touching me. I was in line, and he comes over to say hi. I briefly acknowleged him, turned around and felt my left arm lightly assaulted by a barrage of punches. I turned around and looked and said "Hey, come on now..." I think he got the message from my tone of voice and walked away. I followed him, and had this look on my face that read Please, God... please let him touch me again so I have an excuse to use the knife on loan from DATU_B and introduce him to some real FMA. I turned my attention back to the barrista who gave me a knowing look, like Yes, SUM YUNG GAI is an idiot.

I swear if that primitive so much as touches me again, I'm going to throw some techniques back. But, not being at the same master level, my control might not be what it should.