Move Over, J.K.

Via Boing Boing: Harry Potter famous author pastiches where people come up with death scenes a la certain famous authors. My favorite:

Palahniuk: Harry was an irritant scab to Voldemort for years. He was the Yoko to Voldemort's McCartney. The Kid was a hero. He'd been stopping Voldemort since he was 11, and every year after that.

At 17, his head is being pulled off slowly by a Giant. His heroic roars of defiance have been contorted into pathetic squeals. The sinews and bones in his neck are snapping. In an instant he will lie lifeless, as his head is torn off.

Voldemort is now telling the cannibals to save him the head.

The Cannibals throw Voldemort Harry's head like a Deflated beachball. As his head bounds slowly past, I catch a glimpse of the school. The great hall has turned into an abattoir.

I'd buy it, if Chucky wrote it.