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Thursday, March 18, 2004

Well, my Tuesday was pretty uneventful. I didn't attend club because it's Finals Week on campus, which meant there wouldn't be much in the way of structure or new material. Which in turn meant I really couldn't justify the expense -- that I reportledly will incur significantly less of next quarter. Then, I'll take on the title of "Assistant FMA Instructor" which will theoretically get me into the workout space for free. Then, instead of paying ungodly amounts just to get in, I could maybe give the club some dues money, attend the seminar on Brazillian Jiu-Jitsu, and still have some in my pocket.

I tell you, that day was full of ennui. It was meant to be a day off, but the time I should've spent relaxing was spent "treading water," metaphorically speaking, dealing with one set of minor, yet stressful emergencies after another. It was 9 PM, and god dammit, I was GOING to have my relaxation time. But, there was one delay after another. It was 11 PM, and I finally got out of the house -- but to go where? I tried my favorite coffee shop, open 24/7 for a few days during finals week, but it was all full. Went to the school's library and got to hang out there for a bit, but the atmosphere was full of stress and anxiety. So I went back home, slightly relaxed because it was the middle of the night -- I'm always more relaxed when the rest of the world is asleep. No one to bother me. But that only leads to the same problem. I get too tired in the morning, burn my way through the day, and the exhaustion just compounds.

It's just been this daily test of will lately, in which I keep falling just a little bit short.

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