These letters are written as part of the March Journal Collaboration Project for Rice Bowl Journals.
One
Dear L.
Don Henley wrote in the song My Thanksgiving
I regret not knowing anything about the state of your life right now. But, I know that even now that most of the pain is long since gone, and that everything I lost when I lost you I've regained tenfold, I couldn't stand that little twinge one gets when one sees an old flame, healthy and happy and knowing that that flame is so most likely because you're no longer there. Hypocritical? Yes.
It's not really a measure of anger or lack of forgiveness. We forgave each other ages ago. But, as I remember saying that day, any of the biopsychosocial discomfort it would take to (re-)establish any sort of relationship just wouldn't be worth it for me in the least.
Basically, I still don't want to know you or what you do. What I need to do is continue what I've been doing -- namely to calmly put away any thoughts of you that pop up in my mind. To accept that they'll pop up, and then to let them go.
That being said, I do hope you're happy and healthy. I just don't want to know about it.
-D.
Two
Dear S.
You, I miss. I don't understand why things turned out the way they did after all we shared so long ago, but that's the way things go, I guess. I've seen lately, as lately as this past month how what we shared continued to affect you until you put your closure to it. I'm writing this to do the same.
I know it's unlikely we'll ever reestablish any sort of friendship. Given our history, it's probably not a good idea to do so, especially since I have a (very) significant other. Over the years, I've reached about 99% acceptance of that. This letter is my last 1%. Still, I hope you are well. I also hope any ill feelings you have toward me have faded. I still think rather fondly of you.
Love,
-Me
One
Dear L.
Don Henley wrote in the song My Thanksgiving
Well, a lot of things have happenedThat's definitely been true in the year since I finally told you that I just couldn't have anything to do with you anymore. It was probably the single most selfish thing I had ever done, but it was also at the same time, the single biggest step I took toward reestablishing a healthier mental and emotional state.
Since the last time we spoke
Some of them are funny
Some of them ain't no joke
I regret not knowing anything about the state of your life right now. But, I know that even now that most of the pain is long since gone, and that everything I lost when I lost you I've regained tenfold, I couldn't stand that little twinge one gets when one sees an old flame, healthy and happy and knowing that that flame is so most likely because you're no longer there. Hypocritical? Yes.
It's not really a measure of anger or lack of forgiveness. We forgave each other ages ago. But, as I remember saying that day, any of the biopsychosocial discomfort it would take to (re-)establish any sort of relationship just wouldn't be worth it for me in the least.
Basically, I still don't want to know you or what you do. What I need to do is continue what I've been doing -- namely to calmly put away any thoughts of you that pop up in my mind. To accept that they'll pop up, and then to let them go.
That being said, I do hope you're happy and healthy. I just don't want to know about it.
-D.
Two
Dear S.
You, I miss. I don't understand why things turned out the way they did after all we shared so long ago, but that's the way things go, I guess. I've seen lately, as lately as this past month how what we shared continued to affect you until you put your closure to it. I'm writing this to do the same.
I know it's unlikely we'll ever reestablish any sort of friendship. Given our history, it's probably not a good idea to do so, especially since I have a (very) significant other. Over the years, I've reached about 99% acceptance of that. This letter is my last 1%. Still, I hope you are well. I also hope any ill feelings you have toward me have faded. I still think rather fondly of you.
Love,
-Me
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