Turning Coat

Even with good ol' Windows XP, you're still as vulnerable to stuff as you are mindless when you cruise file sharing services. All I wanted was a copy of an old .38 Special song and got no less than three adware trojans for my trouble. It only took me two hours to clean it all out (on my old comp with Windows 98, it took me about five), and I didn't even have to reinstall anything.

I considered myself very lucky. I'm even luckier that, coincidentally, Mozilla officially launched Firefox 1.0 yesterday. I always liked using it when I was tied to the Uni's library computers. Well, I downloaded and installed it, and if I decide it's worth the effort, make it the default browser. Of course, now I'll also have to make all those pages on the Geocities site Mozilla-friendly.

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Screw Kevin Bacon

I just found out I'm a mere two degrees of separation away from two of the coolest cats on the planet. From an IM conversation with E:

E: Dude
E: you're not gonna believe this
d: what what??
E: I'm chatting with one of my students from China - she's been in HK studying film
d: uh huh...?
E: guess who she's taking a class with..(as a teacher)
d: who?
E: JOHN WOO
d: what???

[snip]

E: Ang Lee is another of her professors, apparently.
E: Only his Chinese name is Zhou Runfa
d: bullsh!t! omg
E: No wait
E: It's Chow Yun Fat she's talking about
E: Damn!!

I should've spotted the error immediately. "Zhou Runfa", no matter your Romanization, sounds drastically different from "Ang Lee".

**Additional

This was taken by E's student who snagged this shot because she (the student) also takes classes in photojournalism.

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Meandering Through Life

I didn't have too much blogging inspiration over the past few days. And, it wasn't for lack of time or material. Just had other things to focus on. What'd you miss?

ITEM ONE
If I read one more thing with the word "SUNY" in it (i.e. State University of New York), I'm going to scream.

ITEM TWO
I don't know when it happened, but two of the tiny screws that held the clip to my Sog tac folder have fallen off. Bugger. I hated the idea of walking around unarmed, especially since I haven't trained in forever and a day. It's almost made me desperate enough to eat the $7.50 that it would cost me to work out with the old Fight Club.

ITEM THREE
My new favorite application is a tiny program called mp3trim. The name says it all.

ITEM FOUR
I found a cheap copy (No jokes from the Peanut Gallery, please.) of Chicago - Live By Request online. Thanks to my handy-dandy DVD audioripper, all of the important parts of my lost mp3 collection are now restored.

ITEM FIVE
I can't get over the Craig Charles Funk Show (see the sidebar on the right). I'm now frantically searching for Little Richard's version of Function at the Junction and Shirley Scott's It's Your Thing.

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Netropolitan Life

Some NPR-idge
Jon Stewart's interview on Fresh Air - I wonder if Jon felt short-changed since Terry wasn't in that day.

Musicians in Their Own Words: Cassandra Wilson

Weekend Edition - Saturday, March 6, 2004 · Jazz singer Cassandra Wilson likes to experiment with her band, testing the limits of the music and finding new places for her voice in the mix. The group is somewhat unusual for a vocalist. With no piano to support her voice with chords, Wilson prefers to sing against the sound of a harmonica -- or maybe a banjo. And to lay down the groove, she has both a percussionist AND a drummer.

Pornographers Have Brains, Too - Not work-safe!
Diary of a Porn Publisher - monitoring: The War on Terror, Events in the middle East, the war on personal liberty, and (of course,) links to new adult sites. I got this off the sidebar of Wil Wheaton's blog.

Maybe He'll Think About 2008?
If you loved Journal of a New COBRA Recruit, you'll probably like:

Cobra Commander in 2004

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My New Favorite Website

Craig Charles' Funk Show

Yes -- Lister, himself, has his own radio show twice a week on BBC 6 with some kick-@$$ music!

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Public Service Announcement

Because, some things you only get one shot at. 

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My Weekly Personality Analysis

Perhaps I did support the wrong candidate...


Which Presidential Candidate Are You?
Rung from Rum and Monkey's very own liberty bell.

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Away From the Laptop

I've been doing other things besides cruise the web and toil in the diamond mines.

UNO
I've been taking E on another journey through the second-best sci-fi TV show that ever was, Red Dwarf. She's seen most of seasons I and II (the original versions, not the re-edited Lucas-style ones) and all of season VII. I just grabbed what I could from the 'rents' house. We've got all of season VIII to keep us amused for awhile until we get back up there to get some more. We've now officially integrated the words smeg, git, and gimboid into our lexicon.

DOS
Yeah, I got most of my mp3 collection rebuilt, beeyatch! And, not just all Chicago tunes, either. Forty gigs gets you a lot of storage for some real jazz, what with those long-@$$ solos on some of the tunes.

TRES
I'm getting all these photos from Halloween, and I'm not sure what to do with them all. It's fun sorting through, and trying to figure out which get posted and which stay on the hard drive. Hey, with 40 gigs and a CD-RW drive, who needs to delete?

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Surf's Up

Here are some interesting tidbits I found surfing the web.

ISA
The Onion's Interview with Christopher Walken

DALAWA
Someone who got in trouble for blogging their mind [Obtained via Zoe Trope and RBJ.]

TATLO
Some NPR pieces I listened to over the past few days:

Picturing the Homeless, on Their Terms

All Things Considered, October 24, 2004 · Gary Clark doesn't call himself a photographer. But over the past few years, he's felt compelled to take pictures of homeless people -- those "on the edge," he says. His work has brought a rare brand of celebrity to people used to living anonymously in harsh conditions.

Half a million members visit Clark's Web page, "Mashuga" -- Yiddish for crazy -- to see the images that result. Viewers from around the world post dozens of comments for each photo, creating a running subtext.

And, a bit about one of my personal heroes:

Comedian and Actor George Carlin

Fresh Air, November 1, 2004 · Carlin's seven dirty words routine was the center of a famous obscenity case in the 1970s. He has a new book When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? His other books include Napalm & Silly Putty, and Brain Droppings.

APAT
Jolt Cola has a website, and yes, it jitters!

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No Comment

No "I can't believe this!" post. Just that for sure we're now going to get what we deserve i.e. nuked.

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Civic Duty Performed

My vote has been cast. Here's hoping this bad acid-trip flashback from the late 80s (which I've ranted about before - economic woes, enemies abroad, a Bush in the White House) is over!

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The Omen

No, not as in "Dominus! Rectus!"

I'm not a tremendous believer in astrology. I debunked that when I was about 8 years old when I did a simple experiment. I noted the horoscope for one sign, say Leo, said something like "You'll meet an interesting Libra, today." I simply looked over at Libra, and it didn't say jack about meeting any Leos. I was feeling pretty self-satisfied for 8 when I realized the obvious design flaw in that experiment, so I tried another. I went a month or so reading the daily horoscopes in the paper from the previous day to see if any of them hit. They didn't.

I still have that habit, although I do find what my Free Will Astrology horoscope said about my upcoming week - FWA being important, because that's the one most often printed in those hip, local, alternative press thingys.

CANCER (June 21 - July 22)

Real estate developer and TV star Donald Trump filed an application with the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office. He was seeking to get a legal death grip on his signature phrase, "You're fired!" That inspired me to try to get a trademark for one of my favorite declarations, "You're a genius!" I haven't had a good excuse to direct that praise your way any time recently, Cancerian, but in the coming weeks you'll be the sign most deserving of it. You are now at the height of your originality; you're as close as you've ever been to discovering your special mission here on earth. For Halloween, consider dressing up as a famous prodigy, including any of the following: Mozart, Leonardo da Vinci, Stephen Hawking, Nobel Prize-winning chemist Marie Curie, Jane Goodall, Georgia O'Keeffe, or hip-hop artist Missy Elliott.

I wish I got that advice before dressing up like this. But, I've been known to do decent impersonations of Stephen Hawking. Anyway, I like the thought of being at the height of my originality. So, let's see if I can figure out just why I'm here.

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The Doctor Will Be With You Shortly

The Doctor is this much closer to being in. 

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Halloween Ennui

I had to spend most of Saturday night at the Diamond Mines, but even if I didn't, I was completely indifferent to the idea of spending time at A-Town's annual Halloween orgy of debauchery and violence that would make Caligula blush party. Today is the first I've been uptown since then, and I can't see any readily apparent evidence of negative effects. Then again, I haven't read any of the local rags yet.

E and I paid DATU_B a visit and were treated to beer, pizza, and a screening of the original Night of the Living Dead. I confess, I didn't realize until that night that the movie might have revealed a bit more about George Romero's socio-political views than he might have intended. (This, I say before I've done the appropriate Googling on the subject.) I'd go into a rant about it, and maybe I will later, but I don't feel like it right now.

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I'd Let My Kids Watch This

Chabon Falls For Snow

Pulitzer Prize-winning novelist Michael Chabon will write Snow and the Seven, a martial-arts retelling of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, for Walt Disney Pictures, Variety reported. Yuen Wo Ping, the choreographer of groundbreaking action films The Matrix and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, will direct the live-action movie.

Wouldn't you?

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Pining for the Fjords?

Actually, pining for my old dog.

One item I came across during my last visit home was my old Iomega Pocket Zip drive and a couple of disks. I downloaded and reinstalled the software and got it running in pretty short order (I'm starting to really like this XP thing). Anyway, I pop in the disk I have, and found pictures that I thought I had lost, a bunch of which were of my ex-girlfriend's dog which we practically raised together. She (the dog) was the smartest, cutest mini-dachshund you'll ever see. It's no exaggeration to say I miss the dog more than I miss the ex.

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Toy Story

Thanks to some help from FATHER FRO, I about doubled the value of my computer in the space of an hour with some choice programs including the one I used to conceal his identity, a great archive extraction program, and something to take audio tracks from concert DVDs that I have/will have. 

And, before you ask, no, he didn't "hear my confession," give me any "blessings," or request me to do anything behind the altar involving Communion wine or anything else in exchange.

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Failure to Win the Peace

Situation Report from Oz
by James Warner

When will we ever learn?

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Afro Thunder

It's amazing what a vintage coat and a borrowed wig can do, eh?


Daaamn right 

Hope you enjoyed my first experiment with Hello from Picasa.

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Personal Convenience Post

File under: counseling/mental health
(i.e. the old career)

Cornell West: The Legacy of Derrida

The Tavis Smiley Show, October 20, 2004 · Commentator Cornel West reviews the work of the late French philosopher and father of deconstructionism, Jacques Derrida.

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My Weekly Personality Analysis

In honor of it's cancellation...


Which Talk Soup host are you?

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Welcome to the 21st Century

I got my new toy during the visit with my parents, which went exceedingly well. This was their way of "burying the hatchet," so to speak.

Pictures will be forthcoming, i.e. I'll get around to it sometime in between my sampling of all the WiFi hotspots in A-Town.

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Maybe Donnie's Not So Bad

A couple of days ago, E and I have been joking about her recent Mira Nair kick. I have to say, her films seem more personal than many other filmmaker's. Anyway, my joke was that for all the beauty and depth of her films, she still takes an international backseat to John Woo, a male director who peddles in beautifully choreographed near-pornographic violence who pretty much beats the same theme to death with the same bunch of symbols he pulls out of his worn-out bag of tricks. In his films, you're guaranteed to see at least one, but usually two or three, of the following (except I can't speak for Windtalkers -- I've been throroughly discouraged from seeing it by too many people)

• A face-to-face standoff involving weapons.
  
• People using two weapons, double-fisted.
  
• At least one "bad-@$$" in a black suit, black tie and a white shirt.
  
• In any of his films with firearms (i.e. 99.9% of them), you will always see: an automatic pistol, a revolver, a shotgun, and a sub-machine gun.
  
• More bullets than the entire run of TV's The A-Team.
  
• A flock of randomly-placed doves, usually before the final, bloody climax of the movie.
  
• A shot of a church, with a close-up of a Crucifix and/or the Virgin Mary.

Remember, it's a joke. Please don't hurt me! That being said, though, I'm definitely coming back to A-Town from my parents' with my copies of Hard Boiled, The Killer, and A Better Tomorrow.

Going back to topic, every time I walk through either of the video stores in A-Town, I always happen upon the movie Vampire Effect (originally, Twins Effect), which if you know nothing about it, would look like one of those hokey kung-fu zombie type movies. It boasts "a special appearance by Jackie Chan" which, in kung-fu movie terms usually means "a fight sequence with Jackie Chan that has nothing whatsoever to do with the main plot and characters of the story." Plus, seeing that the fight choreography was done by Donnie Yen didn't help, either. I always thought the fight scenes from Highlander: Endgame were too inconsistent and Blade 2 was just silly.

Anyway, out I chanced upon Donnie Yen's website today (that is, I typed out http://www.donnieyen.com and hit "enter"), and saw that he not only won an award in China for his work on Twins Effect, but its sequel is about to premiere. In this sequel, Cory Yuen choreographs a fight between Donnie Yen and Jackie Chan. Did I mention this sequel also stars Tony Leung Kar-Fai? I have to see this movie, now.

Not only that -- Donnie's website and Kung Fu Cinema say Donnie's doing a new film:

Tsui Hark taps Donnie Yen for 'Seven Swordsmen'

Donnie Yen is set to replace leading man Song Seung-heon in Tsui Hark's Seven Swordsmen Leave Mt. Heaven after the Korean actor quit as a result of being tied up with other projects. Donnie, who is currently in the United States to promote Miramax's release of Hero, was recently in Hong Kong shooting Sha Po Lang as action director and leading man with co-stars Simon Yam, Sammo Hung and Wu Jing.

Seven Swordsmen is the first of six installments in Seven Swords of Mt. Tien, an epic wuxia pien scripted, produced and directed by Tsui Hark. As if that weren't enough, Tsui is also overseeing a 74-episode dramatic television series with the same name to be run parallel with the feature films. The TV series is budgeted at US$10 million while the first film is estimated at US$12 million.

In Seven Swordsmen, Donnie will be joined by Kill Bill star Gordon Liu Chia-hui who will reportedly play a major villain. Other main cast members include Canto-pop and Hong Kong film star Leon Lai (The Heroic Duo), Hong Kong actress Charlie Yeung Choi-nei (New Police Story) Mainland Chinese actresses Zhang Jing-ru and Wang Li-kun, and Mainland actors Sun Honglei (The Road Home) and Lu Yi.

Tsui Hark, Sammo HUng, and Gordon Liu. I'd see this film if it had only these three in it. Anyway, maybe now E and I won't have to fight between Mira Nair and John Woo movies for a little while.

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Flip Flops

I contend it's easier to spot Kerry's "flip-flopping" because it's not spread out over four years like someone else's. Here are some examples, all in one place (thanks to Chicken Soup for the Vegan Soul).

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Blue Monday

Well, it's not really all that bad of a Monday, but it's a great song. Anyway...

ITEM ONE
I've been slowly taking E on a video journey through the Blackadder series. All that's left is the second half of the first season and the whole of Blackadder Goes Fourth.

I used to have my favorite Blackadder quote in my email signatures in college.

I, on the other hand, am a fully-rounded human being, with a degree from the University of Life, a diploma from the School of Hard Knocks, and three gold stars from the Kindergarten of Getting the Shit Kicked Out of Me.

ITEM TWO
I've got two days off in a row at the Diamond Mines this week. E and I are looking to pop up to see my parents for a night. I think it'll be good to get E acclimated before spending a fair amount of time there during Thanksgiving.

ITEM THREE
There is NO... Item Three.

ITEM FOUR
Just like a McSweeney's piece (since it's written by a frequent contributer)...

Excerpts From My Unsuccessful Audition for VH-1's I Love The 80s
By John Moe

While you're there, you might as well check out this link, too.

ITEM FIVE
If these rumors about the next Superman movie are true, I'd be interested.

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My New Favorite Website

More indie publication:

Pindeldyboz

That is, Pin' dl dë bôz.

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Only Six More

Six more signs until the Apocalypse, that is.

Hooters coming to communist China

Chain known for wings and waitresses with next to no clothing set to open in Shanghai.
October 22, 2004: 3:13 PM EDT

NEW YORK (CNN/Money) - In the clearest signal to date that China has made the leap from emerging economy to a global powerhouse, Hooters will open its first location in the communist country next week, a spokesman for the company confirmed Friday.

What's next? Unrestricted blogspot.com access?

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Personal Convenience Post

[File under: martial arts]

Montage of Pencak Silat Mande Muda techniques

Note to self: Even though the techniques displayed represent the epitomy of why E doesn't appreciate South East Asian martial arts, check out the second sequence. Even though operator is on the ground, his foot sweep resembles path a crescent kick would travel. Enough reason to keep working on crescent kicks? Maybe. Maybe not.

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My Weekly Personality Analysis

I didn't rig it, I swear...


Lord Blackadder


What smashing Blackadder character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

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His Muse Strikes. Again.

I wanna hear another rendition of Lucy.

Shatner Sings. Again.

Original Star Trek star William Shatner, who was ridiculed for his 1968 spoken-word album, will release a new 11-song CD of music this month, the Associated Press reported. Timed for Halloween, Shatner told the wire service that the release is no trick. "It's a treat for me," Shatner, 73, said by telephone from Los Angeles, where he was taping an episode of Boston Legal, his latest TV show. "I hope nobody turns a trick on it."

To think he's all of 3 years younger than my freakin' Dad.

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Paranoia

It's not everyday you come too close to a martial arts grandmaster. Every martial arts practitioner in A-Town knows that A-Town is Bando turf and that the North American grandmaster for the art lives here. Every time he passes through the Diamond Mines, I feel compelled to keep my distance, lest I inadvertently do something that would cause a kukrhi to slip over my throat region. Or, even that cane he always carries around wtih him.

I've gotten into a bad habit working with boxes. After I empty them, I turn them over to break them down. If they're glued down, I practice a downward Cimande strike (Trying to finesse the technique, not work on strength. I mean, it's only cardboard.) and if they're taped shut, I hold a knife in an icepick grip, stab and "gut" the box, then Cimande it down.

I did the latter and turned around to find myself being observed (at least that's how it seemed) by said Bando grandmaster a second before he turned and walked off. I thought for sure I was going to get my @$$ kicked for showing off, or at least get laughed at derisively.

Now, it's probably nothing and I'm just being paranoid. He probably didn't even really notice me at all. But still, if you see the posts completely stop, I'll bet the explanation probably involves a kukrhi.

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The Gift That'll Keep on Giving

Christmas is going to be about three weeks early this year -- on the weekend of December 4th and 5th.

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My New Favorite Website

Monkey Disaster

The weblog of John Moe, author of, among other things, many McSweeney's pieces.

And, while I'm on the subject, I think I'm going to quit adding blogs of total strangers to the sidebar. Those can go to "self-restraint" now. I may delete them from the sidebar altogether, who knows?

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R.I.F. Redux

E feels I was ripped off when I bought Created in Darkness, as very soon I could theoretically have the resorces to download all of McSweeney's and therefore have about 95% of the publication for free. But hey, I like the printed word - most times. Anyway, I came across this gem which is also, lo and behold, online...

Unused Audio Commentary by Howard Zinn and Noam Chomsky, Recorded Summer 2002, for the Fellowship of the Ring (Platinum Series Extended Edition) DVD, Part One

Unused Audio Commentary by Howard Zinn and Noam Chomsky, Recorded Summer 2002, for the Fellowship of the Ring (Platinum Series Extended Edition) DVD, Part Two

Both by Jeff Alexander and Tom Bissell

Because, reading IS fundamental.

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Yesterday's Road Trippin'

Hoo ha. Oh, it wasn't a bad road trip yesterday up to C-Town to see a Tibetan rinpoche speak. Overall. Remember that scene in Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones when Jango Fett is chasing Obi-Wan Kenobi in the asteroid belt and Obi Wan exclaims, "Blast, this is why I HATE flying!"?

Well, I know how he feels, especially when it comes to road trips. It really wasn't that bad a trip, except for a side trip that E and I probably shouldn't have taken. You can blame me, though -- it was really my idea. Once again, boned for trying to be nice. No good deed really does go unpunished, does it? Sheesh.

And, that's all I'm gonna say about it.

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Culture Klub

Yeah, sign me up because I got to see not one, but two speakers on intellectual and spiritual topics this past week. In the first, as part of a lecture series at the University, I saw NPR's Juan Williams discussing his works on Supreme Court Justice Thurgood Marshall and his impact on race relations 50 years after the Brown decision. Aside from Williams's message -- an exhortation to people to seize their moment in history -- it made me appreciate just what it is a biographer does.

Until I met Ms. M.F.A.-in-Film E, I labored under the common misconception that a (film) documentarian is basically an impartial observer of some subject. Really, like any other artist, a documentarian has a (let's use the term loosely) "truth," or an idea, to be conveyed. I've since come to realize that you could apply that definition to a biographer, and that's what impressed me most about that talk.

Yesterday, I saw part of a session conducted by a genuine Tibetan rinpoche (and his translator). The lesson was on the Heart Sutra, a translation and commentary on the text. It was quite fascinating to me watching the obvious degree of thought and scholarship that went into the examination of the text in a way that's quite similar to the way Bibilical text is deconstructed.

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R.I.F.

Over the weekend, I was in Columbus with E -- see below. Or rater, above, since I'll be posting about that next. Anyway, to counter the deepening depression of getting halfway through the stories of The Best American Nonrequired Reading 2004, I broke down and bought Created in Darkness by Troubled Americans: The Best of McSweeney's Humor Category. Most of it is from the McSweeney's website, which should theoretically tick me off. But, I'm not. I'm glad I got it.

I'd love to go and take my usual liberties with copyright/fair use laws, but instead, I'll just direct you to various funny stuff where I can. For instance, we've all played the Name Game, right? Here are some more versions.

The Name Game
By Stephany Aulenback and Sean Carman

"Beckie Benton." How does that grab ya?

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Eyes on the Prize

I can almost taste it.

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My Weekly Personality Analysis

Pre-Hyptnotized Peter


What Office Space character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

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Let's Recap

ITEM ONE
Among the mp3s I realized are pretty much lost for good and/or would take me too much time and effort to find again:

• A live recorded version of Resurrection Blues by Cassandra Wilson that she posted on her website a long time ago. It was a one-time thing, and it's long since gone.
  
• The following Wesley Willis tunes: I Whupped Batman's Ass, I Whupped Superman's Ass, and Birdman Kicked My Ass. How many blog entries did I use to analyze these contradictions?
  
• The Cantonese version of the theme song to Once Upon a Time in China.

I came across this realization trying to compile the last straggling bits of data I culled from my deceased computer and burn them all onto a single CD-RW. Note how I did not include all my mp3s from A&E's Chicago - Live by Request. I'm getting that puppy on DVD eventually.

Ah, what I'd give for a laptop with a CD burner. Although, that may be coming soon. I'll believe it when I'm posting the entry about it from said item.

ITEM TWO
I'm feeling a little better now, although my energy level is still quite low. E, on the other hand, seems to be on a roller coaster ride of symptoms. Now that I think about it, I remember a semester during my last grad school attempt where I was sick for 95% of it. It wasn't pretty, but I still got the As.

What sucks is that I've got things to do, and I don't know how much I'm going to get done. One thing is for certain, however. Come hell or high water, I'm going to the Juan Williams lecture tonight. He's a fine author and a great journalist, and I'd like to hear what he has to say. But as a radio personality... shoot, he makes Terry Gross seem like Sam Kinison.

ITEM THREE
Note to self: get some dit da jow.

ITEM FOUR
My weekend plans to challenge, to see whose kung fu is superior, hear Bardor Tulku Rinpoche speak might be put on the kibosh, especially if E and I aren't feeling any better. It's all we can do to get around A-Town, nevermind trudging up to Columbus.

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I Know a Published Author

That is to say, one of the authors of Cooking to Hook Up. AM has that whole bon vivant thing going with her life -- the kind of life I would like if I had more cash -- and she likes Fran Lebowitz, too. So, I'm guessing the book's bound to be good.

It's basically a cookbook with an agenda, just like the title suggests. There's a quiz on the book's website, one for girls (to see which of the profiles they might fit into) and one for the guys (to see which of the profiles a prospective date would fit into) that'll help you focus best on how to use the information presented in the book.

For kicks and giggles, I took it. It didn't tell me much about E that I didn't already know :).

She is a hybrid of: Granola Girl Progressive Girl Click on the pictures below to read more: Take the 'What Kind of Girl Is She?' quiz at CookingToHookup.com

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Plans

(or, "Drug-Fueled Ramblings")

This weekend, E and I are going to up to Columbus to see friends and check out this lecture from a genuine Tibetan Buddhist monk. In the middle of it, I plan to run up the aisle leading up the the stage doing backflips and such and pit my Wudan kung fu against his Shaolin fist to see which is superior!

Speaking of disrupting lectures, I plan to go see NPR's Juan Williams who's speaking (for free) on Thursday night. If there's a Q&A session, I'm going to ask him what he was thinking destroying my favorite show (Talk of the Nation) while he was on it, and what exactly the previous host had that enabled him to control the guests that Juan doesn't.

I gotta head to the diamond mines.

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Maybe Life Will Imitate Art

...and he'll come back.

Christopher Reeve, Actor in `Superman' Movies, Dies (Update3)

Oct. 11 (Bloomberg) -- Christopher Reeve, known for his role as ``Superman'' in movies and later as an advocate for spinal cord research after a horse-riding accident left him paralyzed nine years ago, died yesterday of heart failure. He was 52.

I hear about this today, not too long after being reminded of Kevin Smith's involvement in the deBACKle that was Superman Lives, as described on the DVD An Evening With Kevin Smith. A sad start to a potentially crappy day.

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Today's Dilemma

[Ed. note - I redid this here post as I've found, once again, that just because something looks right on MSIE doesn't mean it looks right on Mozilla or IE for Mac.]

I was wandering around uptown today because, dammit, it's too nice to be inside -- even though I'm sick as a dog right now. It didn't hit me until yesterday.

In any case, I had one of those "You Must Enter Here" moments as I walked past one of the bookstores. The first two things I saw upon entering were:

The Best American Nonrequired Reading 2004
edited by Dave Eggers

This is the third collection in this series. I have the first two from years past so there was a precedent for purchasing this one. I liked the first two, the first one a bit more than the second. I had already planned to buy the third one, knowing but temporarily forgetting, that they have traditionally been released in October. Plus, this year's introduction was written by Viggo Mortensen. Yes, that Viggo Mortensen. I had no idea he was a recognized writer, as well. Now, that's a bad @$$ -- an actor with a vocabulary.

I leaned over to pick up the book when I saw, laying next to it,

Created in Darkness by Troubled Americans: The Best of McSweeney's, Humor Category
edited by Eggers, et al.

The first time I picked up this book was when E and I were in Ithaca, and I remembered laughing out loud several times. You know what a McSweeney's whore I am to begin with. Now, I could have 200+ pages of it without needing internet access.

Sure, I could've had both but I was just bragging yesterday how much money I've been able to scrape together and shove into my savings account. It seemed wrong to blow the amount of this week's savings on a single frivolous purchase, so I compromised. I bought the former and placed the latter on my Amazon wish list -- hint, hint!

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Mystery Solved

Well, the person who sent me Mike Nelson's Movie Megacheese wrote me back and had this to say...

So did you receive your "megacheese" book? If you don't have it w/in a week, let me know so I can tear amazon.com a new @$$hole!

[Name Deleted]

PS, Don't worry, I'm not a creepy stalker. And the answer to your question is:
a) what's it to you, you're getting free stuff!
b) this is not some random thing.

Enjoy your book!

I sent this person an email from the email account I associate with this blog. The address is this blog's title. Therefore, he or she may have a valid point with this follow-up email...

Your email address sounds like an ad for "cum starved sluts" or something.

Tasty.

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My Weekly Personality Analysis

How's this for screwed up?

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Moderate
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	High
Antisocial:	High
Borderline:	Moderate
Histrionic:	High
Narcissistic:	High
Avoidant:	High
Dependent:	High
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Moderate
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

Now, where's that uzi?

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My First DVD

This probably won't surprise people, least of all E. In fact, it made her feel slightly nauseous. But my first ever DVD purchase was an episode of PBS's Soundstage featuring, you guessed it, Chicago! They had it at the Wally World, of all places. Now, I don't feel so bad about my laptop finally dying -- yes, it's truly dead, Jim -- and losing all the mp3s from their Live By Request show. That's available on DVD as well, and it's on my Amazon list -- hint, hint!

Anyway, I wasn't impressed on my first viewing of it. But I suspected it was due to the fact that I was listening on a mono TV and that being recorded in Dolby 5.1 made it worse. There were points when things like background vocals would drown out the lead guitar, for example. So, I took it to a school computer, which are now all equipped with DVD players and stereo sound. It looked and sounded much, much better. And, this morning, I experimented with using the option of playing it back with Dolby 2.0 -- it also sounded better.

Now, how to lift the soundtrack -- um, for my own personal use you music industry leeches. I paid for it, and now I want it in the format I want it in!

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If I Only Had an Uzi

It was pretty much inexcuseable behavior. Nevermind the many social, psychological, ethical and religious creeds I violated. It was a response that was entirely inappropriate for the situation.

I was slowing down at a traffic light when I noticed some young people trying to pull out of a driveway adjacent to the light. I had a Good Samaritan Moment and layed back to give the people room. I was slightly disappointed when I saw that these people blocked me in order to allow others, presumably as part of a caravan, out into the street. Hey, I could live with that, right? Then, the light turned green.

I went from zero to furious in two seconds flat.

I didn't realize that the windows were all down, but didn't care once I did. I let loose a torrent of blasphemous obscenity that would have been fire and brimstone if I had that sort of divine power. I saw and heard the people now two cars in front of me (where there were none before) turn and utter something but I couldn't hear it above my own screaming. It could have been apologies, or raucous laughter at my expense -- I'll never know. I'm sure I looked and sounded like the sort of person who was about to pull out an uzi and start spraying like my Dad's old lawn sprinkler. The one that would spray back and forth at 45 degree angles.

*Brrap Brrap Brrap Brrap Brrap... Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrap*

Looking back, I reveled in it. I reveled in it because I was in the right. The people in front of me were rude and inconsiderate for abusing my kindness. I was the only car on the street at that moment. They knew what they were about to do and could have waved me through if they wanted to stay together. They almost couldn't get that second car out. The car in front was trying to back up to give them room. I stayed where the f**k I was -- for a moment. Then, I pulled back. The little b@$tards probably didn't get the "Yes, for the second time I've allowed you to inconvenience me" message. A third car was thinking about getting out, but I shut that sh!+ down and pulled right in front of them.

But I re digress.

The real victim in this story was E, who had the misfortune to sit in the car next to me. Not only was she exposed to the negative energy I was generating, she had to experience my rebuff of her attempts to point out, in a logical manner, that my reaction was completely disproportionate given the actual 2 to 3 minute length of my inconvenience.

She left the car and slammed the door when my retort was "It's the principle!"

But the issue wasn't the principle. The issue was my feeling of "righteous anger." It's a side-effect of my upbringing and life experience. Of all the times I was, in fact, wrong and received more-than-stern consequences. Where people took advantage of the fact that I was wrong, not to teach me a lesson, but simply because they could. They had the mental and/or physical wherewithal to do so.

I didn't always have the mental and physical wherewithal I do now. I was always the kid who would walk into a burn (Yeah, I've got Prince Albert in a can. So?) I had no ability to retaliate in any form. But, I've grown up and I'll tell you, there's something that feels good about knowing that you now have the power to decide that you choose just how much crap you're willing to take. Almost makes you feel like God knowing you can decide to forgive someone or try to take your pound of flesh, with no more consideration than which side of the bed you happened to get up from that morning. No consideration of the mistakes I once made. No consideration of the fact that maybe there was a need for them to make a slight imposition on my time. Just the focus on my abused kindness, my lost time, and my righteous anger.

I need to accept that part of me that says "Screw 'em." I need to accept the part that only regrets one thing about the incident, namely that it upset E. And, then I need to bury them because thoughts like those and things like compassion and mercy can't exist side by side. I was in the right to have A reaction. I was wrong to overreact. I could leave it at that, but there's something more. The response of the type of person that I really want to be would be to set aside my right to be right and allow the 1.5 seconds of inconvenience. I might've felt better about making the lives of at least three carloads of people easier than I felt (and, it felt good at the moment) about spewing bile.

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Dolph Gets Dissed Again!

His version of The Punisher was definitive. Now, he gets screwed over again:

Woo Takes On He-Man

John Woo (Paycheck) is set to produce and direct He-Man, a new live-action film based on Mattel's Masters of the Universe toys and the animated series they inspired, Variety reported. Adam Rifkin (Small Soldiers) will adapt the screenplay.

The Fox 2000 film will be the second featuring the character of He-Man. Dolph Lundgren starred as the half-human, half-Eternian warrior in the 1987 film Masters of the Universe, which also featured Frank Langella as He-Man's evil nemesis, Skeletor. The cast has not yet been announced for the upcoming film.

That's just not right.

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Never Made It Out

...of that shower, that is. From the San Francisco Chronicle:

'Psycho' star was in film 50 years

Ruthe Stein, Chronicle Senior Movie Writer

Janet Leigh, whose face-contorting scream in "Psycho" became as famous as the Munch painting but who was known in real life for her great smile, a manifestation of her indomitable spirit, died Sunday at her Beverly Hills home. She was 77.

Imagine not taking a shower -- only baths -- for 40 years because of all that mess.

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I Wonder Wonder Wonder Wonder Who

Someone sent me a copy of Mike Nelson's Movie Megacheese off of my Amazon wish list. There was an email on the order that I didn't recognize. I emailed that person just now from one of my "more or less anonymous" accounts. Anyway, I'll get to reading it today. Thank you, whoever you are.

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Master Debaters

A friend I work with at the diamond mines taped last week's Presidential Debate and burned it onto a CD-R as one big .avi file. Consequently, the soundtrack is a little off. It's almost like a bad kung fu movie. I had to turn the video off and just listen. What do I need to look at either of their mugs for, anyway?

I almost didn't bother with it at all after reading this commentary from the Tavis Smiley Show:

Connie Rice: Top 10 Secrets They Don't Want You to Know About the Debates

The Tavis Smiley Show, September 29, 2004 · After weeks of political wrangling, Sen. John Kerry and President Bush will square off for the first of three key presidential debates. Both camps have agreed to an elaborate, 32-page contract that spells out everything from the size of the dressing rooms to permitted camera angles.

Of particular interest...

(7.) The secretly negotiated debate contract bars Kerry and Bush from any and all other debates for the entire campaign.

"Under what I call the Debate Suppression and Monopolization Clause of the contract, it is illegal for the candidates to debate each other anywhere else during the campaign," Rice says. "We need a new criminal law for reckless endangerment of democracy."

I made it all the way through the thing, but my mind tended to close itself down (probably for the sake of mental self-preservation). I'll need to give it another once over, but my impressions so far about each candidate's points...

• Yes, there in fact is a coalition in Iraq. But, who cares when we're 90% of it and that we're
  suffering 90% of the cost?
  
• There's no way Bush can look the American people in the eye and say, "I did everything I could, first, before going to war.
  
• Dubya -- if you want to convince who have more brain cells than you about Kerry's flip-flopping, you're going to have to do more than repeat the phrase "He changes his position."
  
• Sorry, Johnny -- Dubya harping on your flip-flopping resonates with people for a reason. You've got to come up with something better than "No, I don't."

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My Weekly Personality Analysis

Millions Knives

Find out what anime villan you are.

Incidentally, I hate it when I have to correct people's HTML code on their freaking quizzes just so they'll load right. Idiots.

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There's Still Hope

Judge Strikes Down Section of Patriot Act Allowing Secret Subpoenas of Internet Data

By JULIA PRESTON
New York Times

A federal judge struck down an important surveillance provision of the antiterrorism legislation known as the USA Patriot Act yesterday, ruling that it broadly violated the Constitution by giving the federal authorities unchecked powers to obtain private information.

I love it when The Man gets taken down a notch.

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Vote Independent!

Shamelessly stolen -- I apologize.

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Once Upon a Time in Athens

Ah, the pains of a day after training. It was one of the lightest training days I've had, but after months of being off, I'm actually a little sore.

Techniques to cross off my "to learn" list:

• Cimande limb destructions 1, 2 and 3 (though whose Cimande, I'm not exactly sure. One of those things I've never gotten around to asking.)
  
• Tug tug - FMA knee bar
  
• Sapu dalam and sapu nuwar - Silat leg sweeps

Having some time yesterday, I went online and found some relevant video clips on the internet from I.M.P.A.C.T. Academy.

Incidentally, I came across the site for the Filipino Kali-Eskrima Academy of Chicago, that has a curriculum that seems strangely familiar...

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Oh, By the By

Going along with my prediliction for downplaying the more important events of my life on my weblog, let me take a moment to mention that my parents, with whom I've been estranged for the better part of two years, paid E and me a visit today. It was 1,000 times more pleasant that I thought it would be. Time really does heal wounds.

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I Heart McSweeney's

Trouble in Bobo paradise?

David Brooks Also Eats Cereal.
By John Warner

That is, David Brooks, the author of Bobos in Paradise, which could have been subtitled "Could've been Don's biography."

I thought I could deconstruct a film...

History's Notable Films, Reconsidered.
By Tim Carvell

I think it was on The Daily Show where someone made similar comments about Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace being a story where two grown men in pirate shirts and pony tails whisk a young boy away from his mother to go on an adventure. Doesn't that give you the same shudder when you picture Michael Jackson within three feet of a kid?

I'll digress for a moment to repeat a joke I heard on TV:

How can you tell when it's midnight at Michael Jackson's house?

When the big hand touches the little hand.

Shudder.

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Inside Joke of the Week

It's been awhile since I posted one of these wierd, quirky comments made by me or people in my circle, out of context and unexplained.

"Oh, I'll give you a magazine. Yeah, it's full o' hollow points. You're gonna love those when I put 'em in a gun, and put 'em in your brain."

[Got handed an item]
Oh, sh!+, it IS full of hollow points.

It started with me quoting from Aqua Teen Hunger Force and ended with a surprise.

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Reality Self-Defence

I probably joke about going too far in self-defence situations moreso than I should. I can see the look on E's face right now if she gets around to reading this, but I've been actually telling myself I should stop. If nothing else, I don't want to end up like one of these people who say things like this... (From a post on the defend.net forums)

That is why if you are going to start a fight it is best to start yelling something like, "hey why the hell did you hit me!" because eye witness testimony is terribly unreliable and many people will then claim that the person did in fact hit you and you were defending yourself when it actuality you were the attacker.

That being said, I do accept in principle the idea that if I hurt you while you were trying to do me harm, that's what you get for screwing with me. I don't look for fights, I don't want to fight. I want to be left alone. I'm old and slow and KNOW I will get my @$$ kicked. Therefore, my goal will be to keep my @$$-beating to a minimum, preferably by escaping. But if I can't and if you end up with a limp for life, or worse, then, as a co-worker is famous for saying, "Sorry 'bout your luck."

A lot of other people buy into that, too -- but it seems like some of those people don't have a concept of all the hell that attitude can buy you. They seem unaware of certain realities that are articulated well in this article on lethal force from the Mark "Animal" MacYoung's website.

Moreover, if you choose to carry a knife you need to know that such a weapon is considered a "thug's weapon" in most cultures. And if you do use a knife on someone then you had damn well make sure that the wound pattern matches your claim of "self-defense." Unfortunately, most training in stick and knife arts don't take either issue into consideration. They are in fact, training you to end up in prison for murder.

So, these clips from selected articles are for you, the person who just can't wait to get him or herself in a situation where you actually get to use all that fancy weapon-work you spent so much time perfecting. The quiet ones who don't brag or boast, but who'll stand there calmly like an anime hero, in the midst of chaos and violence "knowing" that you can get that tac folder out before any of these freaks come within five paces, and woe betide any who do...

Knife Fighting: A Reality Break

Most so-called "knife fighting" training that is currently taught has very little to do with how knives are commonly used in violent situations. This is because much of what is being taught is predicated on what can only be called "dueling." This is not to say that what is being taught is ineffective, far from it. In fact, much of what is being taught would work if you ever found yourself in a knife to knife duel. However, the mindset, physics, strategies and attacks that occur in such situations are radically different than the many other ways that violent people use knives. Dueling is only one aspect of knife work, to survive you need to know the others as well.

Knife fighting lies

Lie # 9 Knowing kali makes you a knife fighter
Kali, Escrima, Arnis, FMA, all of them have the aura and mystery of being weapons based arts. Deadly, savage arts of the Filipino warriors. Lurid stories about guerrilla actions against Japanese invaders, duels and death matches that the founder of the style was involved in abound.

Quite honestly what these maestros survived is incredible and is more than worthy of kudos. These older gentlemen survived a totally different culture, socio-economic environment, time and, in some cases, a World War and foreign invasion of their homeland.

That having been said however, just because the founder of the system or lineage was a walking piece of bad-assed real-estate doesn't make you one.

They weren't knife fighters, those people were survivors. It's what comes from living a hellishly hard life. While they had physical skill that helped them, what kept them alive, what allowed them to strike fast enough, hard enough and brutally enough wasn't their art -- it was the commitment not to die. It was that grim savagery to do whatever is necessary and to do it faster and harder than the other person that kept them alive. In the lexicon, they had "heart."

Their art just allowed them to do that faster.

Knowing an art doesn't give you that kind of commitment, that kind of ruthlessness, that kind of grim endurance or that willingness to descend into savagery to stay alive. Just knowing the art doesn't make you a knife fighter. You have to have "heart" as well -- that willingness to wade through hell and come out the other side.

Lie #19 You can use a knife on another human being without legal repercussions
I have seen videos by so-called "knife fighting masters" who actually show the fool encouraging his students to slash someone with a knife for trying to slug the student. I have also seen videos where after disarming their attackers with several slashes to the arm, these knife killers proceed to slash their -- no longer armed -- attacker to ribbons. I have stood in my front room with attorneys and use of force experts and watched a tape on knife fighting where a supposed "expert," not only starts a bar fight, does a suicide move that would have gotten his throat slit and then kneels down and stabs a downed opponent -- in front of witnesses! Actions that everyone agreed would be prosecuted as murder.

As such, don't even get me started on the bozo's who insist their students cut a person multiple times because "one cut may not stop him." Unfortunately, this kind of training often goes awry when the attacker attempts to withdraw and the knife fighter keeps on slashing, even after the ex-attacker has turned his back on the knife fighter. Now, this once upon a time attacker has been slashed many times after he was disarmed and is slashed more on his back while attempting to retreat...guess who is going to go to prison for attempted murder?

A knife is considered a lethal force instrument...and the use of lethal force is *very* narrowly approved. If you use one another human being you had better damned well be firmly within those parameters...if not, then you are -- in the eyes of the law and society -- the bad guy.

Before you even think of picking up a knife for "self-defense" go out and take a course on Judicious Use of Lethal force. Do NOT take any knife fighting experts word on the subject, go to the source lawyers and expert witnesses on use of force.

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Enough, Already!

Dammit, Satan that Lucas just doesn't know when to quit!



Sent by E

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Personal Convenience Post

Because it's faster than checking my email. No gruesome martial arts links o' death this time. Just potential places E and I might enjoy our honeymoon (if we happen to remain in the country around that time).

The Inn at Honey Run

Places Ohio's list of bed & breakfasts

The Glenlaurel Inn - with a Scottish theme and an innkeeper licensed to perform weddings.

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Why People Go Postal

My laptop started up with little effort last night, and managed to stay running all night. How is it that I've been trying for the past 6 hours to get the thing to run, and it still won't?

I had the day off, and my plan was to get the remaining data I needed off of my computer. One way or another, it will come off today and I will destroy the thing. I'm going to beat it in a field ("What is 'PC Load Letter'???") Office Space-style and am going to post pictures of the remains.

But for right now, I deserve food and coffee.

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My Weekly Personality Analysis

Sorry about the lateness...



I disabled the link on the image because the site does some wierd popup thing that I couldn't get rid of unless I rebooted the computer. But, if you're really a sucker for punishment and simply must know which Teletubbie you are, you can go here -- don't say I didn't warn you.

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Personal Convenience Post

Feel free to ignore. I just had to jam this someplace until I got
around to perusing it more thoroughly.

Objectify Your Opponent

by Demi Barbito

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Once Upon a Time in Athens

In a couple of hours, I get to have my first martial arts training session this quarter with DATU_B. It won't be as much cardio as a Club workout, but that's good for someone who's been out of it for quite a few months now.

Speaking of Club, how is it that I haven't even been, and I have yet another...

Billy_Jack Quote of the Week

He sent me this via email:

This is [BILLY_JACK], we strated martial arts and I see you have not showed up yet. Listen Don I know your scared of me, I would be too, but atleast quit hiding so you can take your beating like a man and or women. If you need that pass I'll go yell at [one of the officers] to get you one. See you later

-[BILLY_JACK]

Written just like the sort of person you take out a restraining order on, misspellings and all. But, he's not beyond hope. If he does succeed in getting me a coaches pass, he'll have been good for something and I'll be able to beat him silly later.

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World's Most Dangerous Man, Redux

Earlier this month, I attempted to post this, but the link died.

But, thanks to DATU_B, who independently discovered it somewhere else, I can now bring you The World's Most Dangerous Man.

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Movie Sign!

E's got the filmmaking bug again. A couple of days ago she showed me the documentary American Movie, a film made by the friend of a friend of hers that did well on the documentary circuit. Well enough for us to be able to rent it from a local video store. It's funny how many friends of friends she has doing stuff like this. I mentioned before (I think) how she's friends with a former animator on MTV's Celebrity Deathmatch.

Coincidentally, I read an interview with Kevin Smith (syndicated) in a local rag this morning that had to do with the release of the tenth aniversary edition of Clerks and how it inspired a generation of filmmakers who said, "Hey, if he can get famous doing a piece of crap like that, why can't I?" (Smith plans his next film to be a sequel - The Passion of the Clerks.)

But, the filmmaker being documented (i.e. not the one who made the actual film -- it took a minute for that to sink in) in American Movie, Mark Borchardt, was doing this well before Clerks, though few would argue that he's doing it as well or better. The man is, in short, a freak. A dedicated, hard-working, persevering freak, but a freak nonetheless. It's part of his charm. (Just how do you pronounce the word Coven anyway?) It's also why American Movie works.

Yes, Borchardt is a freak of the first order. Chances are, on your worst day, your life is still better than his (at least than the snippets of his life shown in the movie). You'll laugh and joke about what a pathetic mother he is. And yet, if you pay attention to how hard he tries to get his movies made, how often he falls off the horse only to get back on over the course of years, and how much crap he has to deal with in pursuit of his art, you're going to eventually, like it or not, compare his life with yours again, and wonder who the pathetic one is.

My question is this: How does a freak end up with so much video** film and ADR equipment when the couple of people I know who aren't freaks are filming things on Super 8s?

**[I replaced "video" with "film," as per E's correction. What'd I tell you? Filmmaking bug ;).]

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Satan's Second Movie

I came home last night to find E watching American Graffiti. She was driven to see it by some oldies music that had been "Song Fu'd" into her head. I hadn't seen the movie in years, but I was amazed at its (relative) depth compared to Lucas's other films. I even managed to hold back my usual hate-filled rants during the viewing...

Until we watched his commentary, and he told the story about how he was forced to edit out three scenes of a total length of five minutes, and after the success of Star Wars, he had enough clout to force the studio to put those scenes back into all the subsequent video releases. Now, that scenario of itself is innocent enough -- everyone who knows me knows how I love watching people stick it to The Man. But it reminded me of what I described to E as his freaking God-complex with his compulsion to re-create Creation over and over and over again.

Lucas went on to describe all the filming techniques he had to use, and sometimes invent, to get some scenes for Graffiti done. Some of those techniques were praised by his producer, Francis Coppola. E wondered if Lucas even remembers how to do any of those techniques.

"Film To Edit" is one thing. But jeez, he edits Star Wars the way I edit a blog post. You know all those little inconsistencies that drive you crazy about Star Wars? Like how in Jedi, Obi-Wan tells Luke that when he met Anakin, he was already a great pilot -- no one was expecting a little kid! Well, damn, no wonder Luke was "too old to begin the training" in Empire -- like, by a freakin' decade or so (!!!).

It just drives me nuts! And you know where you see the beginnings of that sort of crap? More American Graffiti, which Lucas didn't direct. But he green-lit it and plastered his name on the front. At the end of the original (yeah, I'm going to spoil it -- it's been damn near 30 years already), one of the characters is said to have been killed in Viet Nam. That same character appears in the sequel, only at the end of the movie, he's listed as being M.I.A. Yes, there was a film logic to it just like there was a film logic to Obi-Wan's story and Luke's age.

But, gee, wouldn't it be great if we could revise our lives like that? Most people want to erase their blatant errors. But not me. I'd like to go all Lucas and tweak. I'd like to turn back 20someodd years and flirt with the girl down the street who flirted with me for most of grade school. Not that I'd want her now at all, or the ultimate outcome of my life to change. But, that would've been closer to how I envisioned the scene. And I could do it now in ways that I just couldn't do it 20someodd years ago.

But life can't be revised like that. Maybe that's the issue Lucas struggles with as he takes advantage of the "magic of film." I joke about him being a greedy bastard, but I really don't get that sense from watching him. Still, he's laughing all the way to the bank, isn't he?

I sure as heck wouldn't shed one single solitary tear if ILM got hit with a massive computer virus, or if the Wrath of God came raining down fire and brimstone like Sodom and Gommorrah on the freakin' place. Maybe one of our surgical, strategic air strikes in Iraq can go wrong (as they are often wont to do) and bomb ILM back to the Stone Age, and then Lucas can go back to making a decent film. The hard way. And, have to live with it -- good, bad, or ugly -- like other directors.

But that is, as Miller says, my opinion... I could be wrong.

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Another One Gone

Johnny Ramone dies at 55

Guitarist with influential 70s band loses cancer battle

Dan Glaister in Los Angeles
Friday September 17, 2004
The Guardian

Johnny Ramone, the guitarist with the eponymous punk group The Ramones, died at his home in Los Angeles on Wednesday following a five-year battle with prostate cancer. He was 55.

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My Weekly Personality Analysis

Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta...

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Delayed Reaction

I can now get to these now that the "deer in headlights" look has faded from my face.

ITEM ONE

Campaign staged on Palace balcony

A Fathers 4 Justice campaigner dressed as Batman is staging a protest on the Buckingham Palace balcony.

Jason Hatch, 33, entered the grounds and scaled a wall at 1420 BST.

Now, there's a level I aspire to reach in the next two years of my life. Scroll to the down the article and check out his partner's picture -- he's not only dressed like Robin, but my buddy Joel "Nips on the Batsuits" Schumacher's Robin.

ITEM TWO

Russia tells America to mind its own business after democracy lecture

16.09.2004
1.00pm - By ANDREW OSBORN in Moscow

Russia rounded angrily on America yesterday making it clear it was in no mood to be lectured on democracy or fighting terrorism after the Beslan school massacre.

Doesn't it take some stones to get on another country for doing what we're basically trying to do, all in the name of fighting terrorism? What, are we just ticked off because the Russians aren't trying to mask their intentions? They have to keep up a facade of democratic reform while we rolling ours back? Yeah, sometimes looking at a mirror sucks, folks.

ITEM THREE

"One Electorate Under God"

Almost from the moment the Founding Fathers wrote "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof," Americans have debated the role of religion in politics. A panel discusses religion, American politics and the upcoming election.

A surprisingly thoughtful discussion with less fanatics calling in than one would expect. That, in itself, surprised me as I listened to it.

On a side note, E and I joke constantly about how Dianne has problems with some callers and guests because of her voice disorder, spasmodic dysphonia. Now, don't get me wrong -- we don't joke directly at Dianne's expense (mostly). It's just interesting how sometimes, Dianne has to cut people off pretty hard or in the extreme, hit the mute-button on them because she can't be as quick as other radio talk show hosts.

It makes me wonder about how much of a hard-@$$ that would make someone who had to deal with all of that in order to reach the position Dianne Rehm has reached. So, I'd do impersonations of Dianne Rehm for E on how she must be when she's off air. Imagine her slow, spasmodic disphonic voice saying things like:

The next time you interrupt me, I'm going to rip your balls off and jam them down your f**king throat.

You're going to show me some goddamn respect around here, you little college intern b!+ches. Now, get me my f**king coffee!

You wouldn't be giving me this sh!+ if I was Nina-f**king-Totenberg... that lez...

Gets E rolling every time.

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The Deadly Three

No, E and I still haven't watched Enter the Dragon yet, but we did spend an evening watching all the TV and theatrical trailers that they dug up. We heard the following tag line about 50 times:

Roper... Williams... and Lee. The Deadly Three.

Ah, the blatant Hollywood racism in the 70s, before they even bothered to put up any sort of facade of equity. In the trailers, the White character gets mentioned first, and the Asian character last. In the movie itself, the Black person dies (rumors abound that Jim Kelly's character was originally to have lived, and John Saxon's to have been killed).

And, I don't care that John Saxon has a black belt. You can't tell me he had one back then, not with those jump kicks he'd do. I could stand there and take one of his crescent kicks right in the face and not even notice. Maybe it's because of that sub-conscious inability to suspend disbelief about Saxon's fighting skills that Bolo Yeung was counting on when he chose to lose to Saxon in their fight, rather than lose to Bruce Lee. But hey, how else were you going to justify having the white guy kick so much @$$ alongside Bruce and a bonafide Karate middleweight champion?

Oh, speaking of which, if you're asking yourself, "Just what has Jim Kelly been doing with himself all these years?" Well, I knew he dabbled in professional tennis for a bit, but apparently it's more than that. Ain't It Cool News caught up with him about a year or so ago.

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Monday Madness

ITEM ONE
Our moratorium on DVD rentals last week never happened. It was a hard day for both of us, so we searched and found Enter the Dragon. We haven't even watched the movie yet, instead combing through all the special features, especially the feature with scenes from Game of Death, reconstituted and re-edited according to Bruce Lee's original notes.

Cool sh!+, indeed.

ITEM TWO
Everything of interest, except for my mp3s, is now off of my ghetto-fabulous laptop and on CD-Rs. Once I get all of those off, you can bet I'm gonna take this bad boy out into a field and do a little Office Space dance around it with both of my kali sticks.

Can I just say that I love having a 1GB gmail account? Hey, between the two accounts I have, I've got about 10 invites. I may donate a couple of them to a program where people can contribute their invites to US soldiers in Iraq. The rest I'm just sitting on. If you're a friend, maybe we can haggle. If you're a stranger, I'll trade up to three for a new laptop. I don't mean brand-spanking new -- I'll even take a gently used one made after 2000. Anything I can stick a wireless card in. Email if you're interested.

ITEM THREE
Speaking of kali, looks like DATU_B's invitation-only kali group is going to happen. Oooh, empty hands -- I can almost smell it.

More later. Gotta mail some more mp3s to myself.

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Another Sunday

ITEM ONE
Today, E and I have declared a moratorium on DVD rentals. We finally got to see ATHF, Vol. 2, but the funny bits were sort of few and far between. I dunno, it just wasn't as funny as the first season. She took out the movie Beijing Bicycle. It didn't interest me so I didn't watch it, and E didn't like it all that much herself.

ITEM TWO
I've got the day off from the diamond mines today. I do hate it when I get them early in the week. Makes the rest of it go by slower.

So far, today's been rather pleasant. E and I lounged around all morning watching ATHF and putting up a new beaded curtain to act as a door between our bedroom and the rest of the house. What finally convinced us to create one was a visit last week by E's friend MS_V (who incidentally hates E's ex with a passion that even I don't have, which makes her tops in my book) who I woke up to find standing in our bedroom the morning she left. This didn't bother E and I in the least, mind you -- it was just the principle of having no separation between the bedroom and the rest of the tiny apartment.

ITEM THREE
This year for Halloween, E and I have tentative plans to head out of town. "Because you want peace and quiet away from Athens's Halloween, right?" you might ask. Wrong. I've been wanting to go to Trauma for years. Last year, a group of our friends went. This year, they're going again and I want to go this time, too.

E and I had a discussion about this related to that thing couples call "Those Details We Do Not Speak Of Regarding Our History Before We Met." I'm damn sure not putting those details on here, but suffice it to say that the discussion left E feeling like Ben Affleck in Chasing Amy, which I continually (as recently as yesterday) have to convince her is simply not necessary.

She's become more and more accepting of the vague details I've given her, though not enough to watch the movie Secretary as I've recommended.

ITEM FOUR
Really more like an "Item Two-A," this makes the second time one of E's female friends has seen the two of us in bed, [ed. note - I deleted the rest of this. Too personal. And, no, nothing ever happened so quit wondering and pull your mind out of that there gutter.]

ITEM FIVE
In the "What I'm Currently Reading" category, I just had to mention Brad Meltzer's (the author) current DC Comics mini-series Identity Crisis, a total must-read and one of those rare chances for the general non-fanboy hasn't-ever-entered-a-comic-book-store public to see why comics can be a cutting edge artistic storytelling medium along with everything else. Here's a Yahoo! article on Identity Crisis for more info.

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Satan Speaks

Is it an issue of artist's rights or the slow vampiric bleeding of your wallet?

Lucasfilm Defends DVD Changes

Lucasfilm spokesman Jim Ward told SCI FI Wire that the company strongly defends Star Wars creator George Lucas' right to make controversial alterations to his beloved original trilogy of films in the upcoming DVD release. "It comes down to what [Lucas] has said constantly, which is that he very strongly believes in an artist's right to have his work presented in the way he wants it presented," Ward said in an interview at the press preview of the DVD set in Los Angeles. "In terms of your own personal art, and how you want it to be presented, the artist has that right."

Check out the article if you want to see exactly what the changes were - I did, because I'm sure as hell not buying the DVDs just to see. I've got the trilogy on VHS released before the '97 versions, which E has on VHS. Lucas, like Bill Gates and Sam Walton, has had enough of our cash.

I mean, he edited the edits, for God's sake.

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Filthy Parasite, Part Deux

I've spent some of today doing what I should have, and indeed would have, been doing had I the resources of the University's new computer lab -- backing up as much as I can off of my old-broken-down-actually-managed-to-get-it-up-and-running-for-once-piece-of-crap laptop onto CD-Rs. I just have some program-specific data files and of course, my mp3s left.

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And Then There Was 1

• Trekkies 2
  
• Shaolin Soccer
  
• Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Vol. 2

...but only because both copies of Aqua Teen were out at the video store.

Shaolin Soccer gave me the sort of "feel-good" vibes that I haven't felt from a movie since my first viewing of Star Wars back on 197[something] (aka waaaaay before it was caleld Star Wars IV: A New Hope). It's another "kung fu fantasy" genre movie, which I find myself enjoying more and more. Now to get my hands on one of the Zu movies.

E and I also finally got to see Jet Li's The Enforcer. Man, I hate seeing Yu Rong-Guang as a bad guy, even if he did do those movies before Iron Monkey.

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Personal Convenience Post

Feel free to ignore -- I just wanted to put these someplace where I can find them again later.

The Ten Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Moves Every Cop Should Know

What's In Your Fanny Pack?: Must have tools for everyday carry
This was funny because of this quote about the use of batons [emphasis is mine]:

Another advantage is that it is difficult to kill someone with a baton -- unless you hit them in the head or choke them with it. And therein lies the biggest problem for civilians with a stick, cane or baton. The overwhelming tendency of non-trained people is to use their baton to hit a homerun with the guy's melon.

Can Submissions for the Street Work Against You?

Raging Against Self Defense: A Psychiatrist Examines The Anti-Gun Mentality

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My Weekly Personality Analysis

My co-workers would definitely agree...


Which Office Moron Are You?
Rum and Monkey: jamming your photocopier one tray at a time.

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My New Favorite Website

Watching Trekkies 2 led me to this website which wasn't referenced on the film, but on the Trekkies 2 website.

http://www.khaaan.com

How's that for stress relief?

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And Then There Were 2

• Trekkies 2
  
• Shaolin Soccer
  
• Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Vol. 2

We still have to get our hands on a DVD of Glengarry Glen Ross.

Trekkies 2 was everything we expected. This time, they went global. Interestingly, it seemed that the Australian fans seemed to produce the best cannon fodder for my MST3K-like commentary (E would say my meanest of the entire film).

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Satan Strikes Again

I heard the rumors, but I didn't believe it until now.

Lucas uses movie force: Hayden Christensen is now Anakin ghost in revised version of Return Of The Jedi
By Bruce Kirkland-- Toronto Sun

George Lucas has inserted Hayden Christensen into the revised DVD edition of Star Wars: Episode VI: Return Of The Jedi -- a film originally released only two years after the Canadian actor was born in Vancouver.

The DVD box set of the original Star Wars trilogy is set for release on Sept. 21, in the DVD debut of these eagerly-awaited titles. Yesterday, the Sun had a sneak peek at the controversial scenes, confirming fanboy rumours that have circulated on Internet chat sites for several weeks this summer.

Christensen -- who was an unknown actor from the Toronto suburb of Richmond Hill when Lucas cast him as youthful Anakin Skywalker in Episode II -- now appears as the blue-tinged ghost of Anakin in three brief scenes totalling just 10 seconds during the celebrations at the end of the movie.

Can't just leave got'damn well enough alone, can he?

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New Toys

E and I made our first joint appliance purchase - a DVD player. I guess I'll have to change the blurb on my Amazon Wish List now. Our first DVD viewing options are:

• Trekkies 2
  
• Shaolin Soccer
  
• Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Vol. 2

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Which Do You Want First?

Good news and bad news from elitestv.com:

The bad news, and believe me we're all crying over this one:

New Kids Snub Reunion Plans

Plans to bring boyband superstars NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK back together have fallen flat - because DONNIE WAHLBERG, DANNY WOOD and JOEY McINTYRE aren't interested in a reunion.

Brothers JON and JORDAN KNIGHT agreed to reunite with their old bandmates for VH1 show BANDS REUNITED, but their former colleagues declined the offer to star on the show.

The good news, however...

Jet Li Thanks Tarantino for Hero Success

Martial arts hero JET LI is so thrilled with the success of his movie HERO in America, he's taken out a full-page advertisement thanking QUENTIN TARANTINO for transporting it from China.

The film, which is set in the third century BC, has been at the top of the American box office for the past two weekends, prompting Li, the film's director ZHANG YIMOU and the cast and crew to say a big thank-you to Tarantino and MIRAMAX bosses BOB and HARVEY WEINSTEIN for making it a success.

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Filthy Parasite

I'm posting these two pictures with my blurred face, not because of privacy concerns, but to show off how I've been leeching off the resources of the brand new computer lab that's opened up on campus. Not only am I using their net access, fast computers and printers, but now their scanners and their copies of Photoshop, too.

"And, I don't feel bad about it."

-Macy Gray, I've Committed Murder

And, I wanted to show off the reversible jacket that E brought back as a gift from the PRC.

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Pot and the Kettle

I remember hearing this a few days ago - according to the date, September 2nd. The bit about "College Visits" sort of irritated me. And, from a college professor, no less:

Letters: GOP Campaign Chair, College Visits

All Things Considered audio

Sept. 2, 2004

NPR's Melissa Block reads from listener's letters. Included are responses to our interview with Marc Racicot, chairman of the Bush-Cheney campaign, our report on summer college campus tours, and our piece detailing the varied pronunciations of the words Abu Graib.

(Stupid) charges of elitism from a prof? That's good.

P.S. This is post number 666!
[Insert Theme from The Omen here.]

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There Can Be Only None

Someone cut off this thing's head already. From Sci Fi Wire:

Toon Highlander Developing

The venerable Highlander franchise is on track to become an animated movie for release in spring 2006, Variety reported. Davis-Panzer Productions and Imagi International are developing the project, which will be animated through Madhouse of Japan (Tokyo Godfathers), the trade paper reported. David Abramowitz, who was head writer on the Highlander TV series, will write the screenplay.

Jeez, even Christopher Lambert knew when enough was enough.

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Why I Study FMAs

From the Boston Globe:

City gangs turning to machetes, police say

By Christine MacDonald, Globe Correspondent | August 16, 2004

As a boy growing up in El Salvador, Somerville pastor Luis Morales said, he was never frightened when he saw peasant farmers with machetes hanging from their belts. For rural Salvadorans, the long knife is a basic and ubiquitous tool, as common as a Swiss Army knife is here.

Morales, pastor of the Vida Real Evangelical Center, has watched in dismay as Hispanic street gangs have transformed the rural implement into an intimidating urban weapon. Area police say street gangs, whose members once might have favored switchblades and homemade zip guns, now prefer the long knives with blades that can be nearly as thick as an ax and as long as a sword.

Sure, sure you could say "Hey, a knife fight is what happens when you forget your gun." But, the point is that it's nice to know some "old-school" methods haven't completely gone by the wayside.

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Once Upon a Time in Athens

In theory, it should be that time of the year when MMAC starts up again. Well, the quarter starts next Tuesday, and I've heard nary a word. I emailed one of the officers today. We'll see what, if any, response I get. It sort of sucks to say this, but if the current gaggle can't get things together, then my prospect of getting another "Coach's Pass" [snicker] seem pretty dismal.

But, to kick off another year of posts describing my (dismal lack of) martial arts progress and those involved, I give you, not one, but two "BILLY_JACK QUOTES OF THE WEEK." I had the (mis-)fortune of running into him yesterday (not with my car, unfortunately), and he had the following things to say.

As he introduced me to what was, I assume, a friend of his...

This is [Me], the only Asian male prostitute in town.
(To which I responded, Yeah, [BILLY_JACK] makes use of my services quite frequently.)

I mentioned that the other day, I saw the Bando black belt that BILLY_JACK has delusions of sparring with...

Is he walking my streets again? I'm going to have to kill him. 'Hey, you Ecuadorian... go back to Mexico.'

It's going to be another fun year, I can tell.

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Pretty Good Atmosphere

This is the sort of atmosphere E and I got quickly used to. Ithaca is everything Athens wishes it could be - small and intimate, yet cosmopolitan with a blurred distinction between "Town" and "Gown."

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Mark's Wife

I mentioned Mark Twain was buried alongside his wife. I wish I got a better shot, but I managed to cull this from another picture and enlarge it via Photoshop.

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My Weekly Personality Analysis

I've always been a "big picture" sort of person...

I'm The Art Test!

I'm, erm, a pretty nondescript test that just does what it says on the tin, really. I don't thrive on in-jokes, controversy or irony, nor do I host ads... I have some pretty pictures though, will that do?

Click here to find out which test you are!

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Cheap Pop

Yesterday morning, E and I were listening to Morning Edition on NPR -- that's where my radio/alarm is set. They were broadcasting excerpts from the RNC the previous night, which included a speech by The Governator himself. I've written before about how, at the "Battle of Columbus" martial arts tournament which he co-sponsors, he makes an appearance and always works in Terminator references for cheap pop.

Why were we so surprised that he did the exact same thing at a Republican National Convention.

"Don't be economic girly men!" he said, among other things.

You don't believe me? Have a listen.

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Stayin' Alive

A couple of evenings ago, I introduced E to Saturday Night Fever which she had never seen in its entirety. We've introduced a whole new set of in-jokes to our vernacular ("He's a sleazy HOO-er."). Ah, to have been Italian living in New York in the '70s.

I hadn't seen it in awhile myself, so I'd almost forgotten what sort of story it was. E and I both admired the simplicity of the cinematography, not to mention the actors, none of which could ever score a movie in this day and age. They all look too ordinary, not like anorexic Greek gods and goddesses.

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Pictures At Last

I'm not exactly sure what it is about this -- I've been wanting this picture for an entire year. Maybe it's knowing that this is the closest I've ever gotten to a literary giant. No, getting Anne Rice to sign my copies of Interview and Servant of the Bones doesn't count, not compared to this anyway.

I've got more pics up on the Geocities pages. You're smart enough to find them, I'm sure.

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Call In the Experts

Now, if we as a nation, really are serious about the War on Terror, we need to bring in the people who are best equipped to handle it.

The A-Team Resolves Lapses in Homeland Security.

By Ryan Boudinot

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World's Most Dangerous Man?

Prepare to be amazed and astounded! All martial artists everywhere, BEWARE! Not since Bruce Lee has the world seen a deadlier practicioner in the art of fighting with numchucks.

Apologies -- it looks like the video has been taken down for the time being.

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Is There Hope?

Maybe there is a reason to hope that right wins out, after all. Maybe...

U.S. Seeks to Dismiss Terror Convictions

U.S. Asks Court to Dismiss Mich. Terror Cell Convictions, Says Prosecution Was Full of Mistakes

The Associated Press

WASHINGTON Sept. 1, 2004 — In a dramatic reversal, the Justice Department acknowledges its original prosecution of a suspected terror cell in Detroit was filled with a "pattern of mistakes and oversights" that warrant the dismissal of the convictions.

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